Cameron's Christmas
by Orffyreus
Summary: My first published fanfic, an AU set somewhere after S2E20. Cameron and John decide to celebrate Christmas, which of course also gets Sarah and Derek involved in the X-mas preparations, something they are not at all familiar with. A lot of Jameron.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note:

This little story here is the first one I've ever published and the second one I've written. In mid November 2010, I finally started writing my own version of how I thought a season three might have been, but then Christmas was approaching rapidly, and I got carried away with the spirit. So I put TSCC3 on hold and started on my X-mas story after the holidays. Here's the outcome…

(By the way, please note that the last two episodes never happened here.)

**Cameron's Christmas**

**Chapter One**

It was finally snowing. John was glued to the window of his room looking at the thick flurries of snowflakes falling, completely blotting out the morning sun. There were children playing in the snow-covered street enjoying what for some of them may well have been their first ever snowball fight. Having lived in warm climate places for the majority of his life, a blizzard was also a scarce occurrence for one John Connor, whose attention was now completely focused on said children pelting themselves with glee written on their faces and obviously not a care in the world. He idly wondered what it must be like to lead a normal life without the need for constant vigilance, without machines from the future being sent back to kill him.

_Wouldn't it be nice to have a Christmas tree, _John thought. _My life sucks._

Kneeling on the mattress, his elbows resting precariously on the window sill, John stretched himself across the gap between his bed and the window and pressed his right cheek firmly against the pane of glass - _Ow, it's damn cold_ - trying to catch a last glimpse of the children who were now running down the road jumping in each and every snowdrift on their way.

"Why are you licking the glass, John?"  
>Cameron's voice suddenly came from right behind him.<p>

"Arghhhh!"

Before John crashed unceremoniously into a heap on the floor he noticed she was sitting on the far end of his bed.

"Ow! I wish you wouldn't do that. You know it startles me when you suddenly appear out of thin air" he groaned, picking himself up off the floor and climbing back onto his bed rubbing his right elbow which had made hard contact with the floor boards.

Cameron tilted her head "You have never seen me appear out of thin air. I only jumped in time alone once and you weren't present when I arrived."

John looked incredulously at her, his mouth slightly agape. "Never mind. How long have you been sitting there for?"

"Seven minutes, twenty four, -five seconds" she replied.

"How come I never noticed you come in?" John wondered.

"I don't know"

"Well, next time, how about knocking?" he told her in a more accusatory tone than he had intended to.

John could have sworn he saw a slight hurt expression flash across Cameron's face before she said in her monotonous voice "The door was open."

"Erm, well, yeah. Okay then, perhaps you could just cough or something in future?" John asked sheepishly feeling a little sorry for blurting out at her like that. "Just so I cotton on you're there. You know I scare easily, being hunted by killer robots can do that to you."  
><em>I also bruise easily<em>, he added to himself, looking at his rapidly swelling elbow with some concern.

"I'll try, although I do not need to cough. The anatomy of my throat does however …"

John cut her off before she could launch into one of her detailed explanatory modes.  
>"That would be great. My elbow will thank you" he grinned.<p>

Cameron got up and walked over to the other side of the bed where she sat down next to him. She delicately placed her slender hand on John's swollen elbow. His pulse instantly increased by double. She then started to apply pressure to various points of the joint.

"What are you doing?" John asked after he had managed to find his voice again. He wondered why his voice always seemed to leave him these days should Cameron even merely bump into him. Which happened quite frequently in the usually rather jumpy existence the members of the Connor household led.

Cameron fixed him with her huge brown eyes. John felt like he was melting into the mattress. "I'm making sure your elbow has not been damaged" she said, not taking her eyes off him.

"Ah … yeah … is it alright?" was all John managed to burble.

"There won't be any lasting damage, only a bad bruise" Cameron said in a matter-of-factly tone. "What were you looking at before you fell off the bed?" she then added.

Feeling his cheeks going slightly red John told her about the children he had been watching.  
>"They were having so much fun. I never had a snowball fight in all my life, there was never enough snow" he explained.<br>"And there was never the time" he added sadly, thinking of his childhood which he had spent mostly on the run with his mother.

"I have never had a snowball fight either. Is it dangerous?" Cameron asked, her head tilted slightly.

"Is it _what_?" John grinned. "No, of course it isn't dangerous. It's something you do for fun. You make snowballs and throw them at one another trying to hit your opponent" he explained to her.

This was one of the things John had come to like most: explaining something to Cameron. Even Sarah had noticed that her son remained unusually calm and patient when explaining something they took for granted to the machine. And she wasn't too happy about it!  
>In Sarah's opinion John spent too much time with the machine, he had become far too attached to it. But then again, Sarah knew her son to have a soft spot for the machines.<br>And Derek maintained that in the future John had always seen something in them that others could not. Sarah only hoped that her son wouldn't one day come unstuck being so trusting.

…

"Look at all that bloody snow!" Derek remarked from his vantage point at the far end of the kitchen table opposite the window while greedily helping himself to another two or three of Sarah's breakfast pancakes. "They'll be putting salt down for sure which means we can't go out" he added before shoving an entire pancake into his mouth.

"You do know what knives are for, Reese?" Sarah barked, eying him disgustedly. "And why should salt on the roads stop us from going out?"

Derek shot her a shocked look. "I'm not risking my SUV's tyres and having them being eaten away. Worse still, the paintwork might discolour. No, we're grounded as long as this goes on" he concluded, jerking his head towards the snow now collecting on the outside window sill.

Sarah shook her head and continued to make more pancakes while muttering "Men, honestly…" under her breath.  
><em>John will be down anytime soon,<em> she thought, _and ravenous as usual,_ she added, deciding to open another packet of _bisquick_'s finest.

…

"Can _we_ have a snowball fight?" Cameron asked a dumbfounded John from her position on his bed.  
>Of all the things he had ever secretly imagined doing together with Cameron in his teenage dreams and fantasies a snowball fight was definitely not amongst them.<p>

"What? Erm … well, why not? Yeah, we will. Definitely." John answered and smiled brightly at her. _Hey, this could be my first attempt at leading a normal life, _he joked to himself.  
>"But first: What do you need before going out with the intention of getting soaked to the bones?" John asked.<p>

Cameron looked at him quizzically whilst processing his question. Coming up with no satisfactory response she merely replied "I don't know", before repeating "What do you need before going out with the intention of getting soaked?"

"I'll tell you" John smiled. "Breakfast. A double helping at least."

He stood up rubbing his elbow once more and noticed that it felt better already.  
><em>Leave it to Cameron to instantly cure me with a few simple measures…<em>

Bending his elbow and shaking his head in disbelief that the pain had already gone, he started towards the door before stopping and turning around to face her again.  
>John didn't know if it was simply the season's spirit or Cameron brightly asking him if they could have a snowball fight. But all of a sudden he felt terribly sorry for her. For how he had treated her in the past. And for how his mother and uncle treated her on a daily basis. It dawned on John that Cameron had never ever questioned him or doubted him in the slightest. She had been loyal to him even after he had started to push her away. When he had tried to convince himself to bury his feelings and exclude Cameron from his life she had still been there for him. He felt he had to try and make it up to her. Somehow.<p>

"Come on" John called to her, his voice cracking slightly. "Let's go downstairs for breakfast."

Cameron never accompanied John to the dining room ever since Derek had remarked that he couldn't eat with _metal_ in the room. John remembered the look of hurt on her face that day before she had left the table after Derek had said _"Bleedin' 'ell, it'll make me throw up."_ He felt a surge of anger towards his uncle as the memory struck him.

"John, I don't require breakfast. And Derek wouldn't be pleased to see me" Cameron said in a tiny voice as she hesitantly rose from her sitting position on John's bed and walked over to where he stood.

"That's his problem then, isn't it?" John shrugged as he took a step towards her. Defiantly taking her hand and pulling her towards the door with him he added "It would please me, though."

"Why?"

"Why what?" John inquired somewhat bewildered as to the fact that Cameron had suddenly stopped dead in her tracks, making him stumble backwards owing to his hand still holding on to hers. Noticing this he quickly let go of her hand feeling a trifle embarrassed.  
><em>Was I really just holding her hand? It felt … normal, just like something I should do…<em>

"Why would it please you if I were to have breakfast with you?" Cameron asked looking straight at him with sadly inquiring eyes, a slightly tilted head and a barely open mouth.

Thankful for the semi darkness John hoped against hope that Cameron would not see the colour rising to his cheeks again. If she did notice she didn't let on. John scratched the back of his neck. "Well, err, look, it's just … um …" he broke off.  
>How could he tell her that he desperately wanted to spend a normal day with her? Just one. Or at least a day which he thought accounted for normal anyway. For her. To make her happy or at least to try.<br>_What makes her so sad sometimes?_ John mused at the cyborg's expression, the one he had long ago forced himself to overlook and ignore. Just for the sake of it. Because he might have lost himself in those eyes. He found that pushing all of this to the back of his mind had started to become more and more difficult as of late.

"You wish to lead a normal life" Cameron suddenly remarked.

"I'll never have a normal life, we both know that" John said resignedly, marvelling at how she always seemed to know what he was thinking.  
>"But I could at least try to make the best of it. Meaning it would be nice if we all acted like we were a family. So how about it? What would you like for breakfast before we go out?"<p>

Cameron's lips parted with the smallest expression of surprise. A bystander would not have noticed at all but John did. He always noticed when Cameron was upset or happy, although she had repeatedly claimed to have no emotions. John had tried hard to convince himself of this and make himself believe she was right, all evidence to the contrary. All he knew now was that he never wanted her to feel unwanted or lonely again. He supposed making Cameron a breakfast was not a bad start.

"I'm not sure, John. I've never had breakfast nor do I require it. But if it makes you happy I can eat whatever…"

He cut her off before she could finish. "Not _me_, YOU. I was hoping it would make _you_ happy."

"I'm a machine, John. I can't be happy" Cameron said, putting her best scary robot face in place. "Happiness is a human emotion. I do not have—"

"YES YOU DO!" John cut in somewhat louder than he had intended to. He at once lowered his voice again and continued.  
>"I've seen the way you look when Mom or Derek make digs at you. I … I hurt you myself … again and again by being a total jerk and forcing myself not to care about … what you think."<p>

…_and not to care about you,_ John added mentally to himself while Cameron studied him, her head slightly tilted. After what seemed like being scrutinized for ages and John starting to fidget from becoming all the more uncomfortable, Cameron finally gave him the smallest of smiles.

"Thank you for explaining."

John simply adored it when she said that. He always took it not as a response merely generated by programming but as a hint that he had managed to teach her something more about human behaviour.  
>He was just about to continue on his quest of going downstairs with Cameron to make her breakfast when she spoke again.<p>

"John?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we celebrate Christmas?"

John simply stared at her his jaw flapping.  
>"W … What?" he stammered before the meaning of what she had just said sank in.<p>

"Can we celebrate Christmas?" Cameron repeated.

After at first having fixed her for some considerable amount of time with a rather goofy look on his face John closed his mouth with an audible _pop_ and his lips slowly started to transform into a bright smile, quite unlike his usual guarded one. Cameron continued to look at him patiently awaiting his response.

Grinning broadly, John took a step towards her and said "You know what? We can. And we will. Yeah, that's just what we'll do. We'll have a real Christmas with a tree and a turkey and all."

John began to pace around the room while thinking of all the things they'd need to buy. This called for a lengthy shopping trip and even though John usually ran a mile when anybody so much as mentioned going to the shops he was really pleased at the prospect this time. It just seemed like something he should do. Something normal at last.

"We'll have to go and buy quite a few things" he mused and started counting his fingers.  
>"A tree, some decorations, candle lights and, oh yeah, wrapping paper. I'll bet my Mom won't even have any of that. That flak jacket I got for my birthday last year wasn't wrapped…"<p>

"Wrapping paper?" Cameron tilted her head. "What will we need wrapping paper for?"

"For the presents of course" John exclaimed unbelievingly, deciding that for the most advanced learning computer on earth Cameron was sometimes painfully slow on the uptake.

"Oh. Thank you for explaining" she said predictably and then added "What would you like for Christmas, John?"

Evidently she wasn't that slow in putting two and two together, John had to admit before he wondered if there actually was anything he'd want as a Christmas present. Especially from Cameron. He had never expected her to give him anything, yet alone ask. After all, she did enough for him on a daily basis, sometimes even getting shot for him. Little did Cameron know that every bullet she took hurt John as if it had struck him.

"Err, I dunno. I've never really thought about it. And I've never expected to have Christmas presents." _Especially from you_, John added to himself, feeling the familiar red tinge creep up his cheeks. "I'll tell you later, okay?" he offered.

"Alright" Cameron said with the ghost of a smile.

"Let's go then" John decided with the intention of going to the shops straight away.

"John?"

"Yeah?"

"What will you make me for breakfast?"

"Oh. Well, how about pancakes?" John suggested, breakfast having been completely forgotten and the fact suddenly dawning on him that he had no idea whatsoever what to make her apart from pancakes owing to Sarah's ample supply of ready made _just add water _packet mixture.

"Sarah has already made some. Although they are slightly burnt" Cameron informed him. Evidently she had analyzed the smell coming from the kitchen below thanks to her advanced cyborg olfactory sensor relay.  
><em>Or something like that<em>, John assumed.

…

"Oh, where is that boy?" Sarah exclaimed while making a fresh batch of pancakes since Derek had scoffed the not insignificant pile she had prepared for John after having finished his own in record time. Derek was now dejectedly staring at the empty space in front of him where his plate had once been before Sarah had whipped it out from under his nose glaring at him.  
>Just then the shuffling from the upstairs landing and the clomping of boots on the stairs announced John's arrival.<p>

_Since when does he wear boots? _Sarah mused, trying to recollect if John had ever worn anything else apart from his sneakers in the line of shoes.  
><em>Those cowboy boots I got him in Red Valley were never touched…<em>  
>Before she could cling to her train of thought any farther John appeared at the dining room door, Cameron close behind wearing her usual combat boots, the ones she wore with every outfit. John secretly found this impossibly adorable.<p>

Before Sarah could remark anything in the line of _what is she doing here _the telltale sounds of spluttering and coughing from the dining room announced that Derek had looked up from his pancake-less reverie and noticed Cameron.

"What's _that_ doing here? I'm not having breakfast with _it_ looming over me. No sir! I'd rather…"

"Shut up Derek" John snapped at his uncle while chancing an apologetic sideways glance at his protector, who looked as if she would have liked to vanish on the spot.  
>"Cameron and I are having breakfast today. If you don't like it you're free to leave."<br>He took Cameron's hand and led her to the table where they sat down next to each other as far away from Derek as possible.

Derek just stared at his nephew, a look of shock and revulsion evident on his face.

"What's for breakfast, Mom?" John shouted in the direction of the kitchen just as Sarah entered the room balancing a precariously high pile of pancakes.

"It's your favourite, John: pancakes" Sarah teased, plonking the plate of still smouldering and a rather too darker shade of brown coloured pancakes in front of him.

John nodded at Cameron and grinned. "You were right."

"John, why is _she_ here? She doesn't need any food." Sarah remarked jerking her head disdainfully in the cyborg's direction.

"_She_ has a name, Mom. Cameron is here because we were going to have breakfast together before going out." John replied, unblinkingly holding his mother's gaze.

Sarah flapped a pancake on to John's plate with a little more force than necessary while Derek gazed longingly at the rest of the pancake pile.

"Going out? Where?" she asked, eying her son warily while dishing herself a pancake as well.

John decided he would not yet let on to his mother and his uncle about his and Cameron's Christmas plans.  
><em>Yeah, I think we'll surprise them…<em>  
>He smiled at her and said in a genuinely cheerful tone "To play in the snow, Mom. That's something I've never done."<p>

He got up and made his way over to the kitchen to fetch a plate for Cameron since Sarah hadn't brought one for her and made no intention of changing this. And Derek would rather sacrifice an arm and a leg before being seen waiting on _metal_. He sneered derisively at his nephew as John placed a plate before Cameron and offered her a pancake which she accepted with a small smile.

"Thank you" Cameron said looking John in the eyes a little longer than he was comfortable with without having to blush again.

"Waste of bloody time giving _that_ thing pancakes. Can't figure where they'd go to anyway even if it did eat them" Derek announced to the table at large earning himself a glare from John.

"Haven't you got any weapons to clean or something, Derek?" John spat at his uncle.

"Nah. _I'm_ having breakfast and you bringing that thing along'll make me lose my appetite" Derek deadpanned.

"You've had your breakfast, Reese" Sarah cut in. Then she turned back to her son. "What on earth made you want to go out in the snow? You're not going to throw snowballs at each other, are you?" she asked.

"Well actually, that's exactly what we did have in mind. It came to us this morning after I woke up and Cameron said—"

John's explanation was halted as his mother cut across him, shooting up from her chair so suddenly, it toppled over backwards and crashed to the floor.

"What?" Sarah exclaimed in outrage, icily adding "And where was Cameron when she said whatever she did?"

Not understanding in the slightest what the sudden aggro was all about John pointed out "On my bed. Cameron and I were just having…"

He trailed off realising what he had just said and what it might imply. Surpassing red John's face turned purple as Sarah swelled like a bull-frog. Alarm bells ringing in her head she marched over to her son and towered over him as he cowered back down into his seat.

"Outside. Now. We need to talk" Sarah growled at her son before storming out into the hall.

Dismally, John got to his feet and trudged after his mother, head bowed and feet shuffling with a slight resemblance to someone guilty of all charges just about to enter a courtroom hosted by an unrelenting judge. Judge Dredd maybe…

He found his mother standing at the front door still seething.  
>"What were you up to, John?" Sarah hissed through gritted teeth.<p>

"Up to? I was just having breakfast, Mom" John told her with what he hoped was an honest and sincere expression. Unfortunately, it came across as a little goofy.

"Don't try to make fun of me" Sarah warned. "Why was Cameron in your room first thing in the morning? And why was she on your bed of all places?"

"I dunno. She just appeared there. Probably checking on me" John said, determined not to mention a word of his earlier encounter with the floor.

"Oh really?" Sarah sneered, her eyebrows nearly leaving her head. "She just appeared there and you never noticed her coming in?"

"Well, yeah, that near enough sums it up" John admitted.

"Don't give me that" she snapped. "I want to know what you two were up to" Sarah pushed on glaring at her son.

He leaned on the door frame and sighed, turning his head away from his mother.  
>"If you must know, Cameron and I have decided to celebrate Christmas" John decided to spill the beans. He quickly added as an afterthought "It was her idea, actually. I thought we'd surprise you. That's what we were talking about."<p>

Sarah's alarm bells turned to jingle bells as her anger subsided only to be replaced by guilt.  
>Guilt for never have been able to offer her son a normal life.<br>_He's never had a real Christmas,_ Sarah realised. She ruffled her son's hair the way mothers are prone to and John pulled away sighing irritably. All sons hate their mothers doing that, even the future leader of mankind. Sarah's mind was made up in an instant; they would celebrate Christmas, just like any other family.

"Fine. But you two are shopping for a turkey" she commanded, smiling and punching John in the shoulder playfully, just as Cameron came in from the dining room.  
>"Derek and I will get the tree and stuff."<p>

Tilting her head in confusion at Sarah's remark, Cameron informed John "Your pancakes are cold now, John. And I think Derek has started on them. Would you like me to make you some more?"

"No thanks Cameron, we'll just skip breakfast and get that turkey. Anyway, I thought _I_ was going to make _you_ something today."  
>He smiled his million watts smile which his mother hadn't seen in quite a while.<p>

Her son's statement also caused Sarah's eyebrows to rocket halfway up her forehead again. Just as she was once more going to comment on machines not being in the need of food, a loud belch sounded from the dining room. Sarah breathed out audibly and stormed back into the kitchen muttering "Just you wait…"  
>A noise like the cracking of a whip and a following yelp from Derek was the last thing they heard as John and Cameron opened the front door and headed out into the blizzard.<p>

John had donned his thick duffle coat and scarf while Cameron was wearing her usual attire consisting of purple leather jacket and combat boots combined with, rather unfortunately, a mini skirt. He looked at her sceptically and said "You'll be cold in that, you know."

Totally absorbed in watching the snow settling on her hands and then melting, Cameron didn't answer. John couldn't help thinking how adorable she seemed with that innocent look of sheer awe on her face.

"Don't tell me you've never seen snow before" he chuckled, reaching out and brushing the snow off her hair which had begun to settle there while they made their way over to the garage where the Jeep was parked.

"No, I haven't" Cameron told him as she opened the garage door. "There is no snow in the future. No Christmas. No celebrations. Only despair" she added almost sadly.

"So people have lost all hope?" John got in the passenger's side, all the happiness he had been feeling suddenly draining away at the thought of a post-Judgement-Day world.

"Yes" Cameron replied monotonously as she climbed onto the driver's seat. But then she fixed him softly with her beautiful eyes and added with the hint of a smile in which John thought he caught a glimpse of – was it pride? "But there was another."

…


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"Oh yes you are" Sarah practically growled at Derek "I don't give a damn about the stupid car. You are removing yourself from that table and coming with me downtown so we can buy a tree and decorations and that's final!"

Taking Sarah's somewhat antagonized mood into account and subconsciously rubbing his left cheek which still throbbed a little from the tea towel that had been lashed at it Derek reluctantly got to his feet. Grumbling he took the car keys from the sideboard, entered the kitchen and pulled out two guns from the weapons stash under the sink. After having routinely checked them he threw one over to Sarah before he put on his coat and headed for the front door.

"Alright, let's go" he called to Sarah after muttering about General Connor not being a sap like that in the future, Christmas being humbug and it all being that _metal's_ fault anyway.

"Don't you dare call my son a sap" Sarah warned. "John's right. Christmas is a time for family. And you're part of that family, so you're going to celebrate with us, like it or not. Anyway, I don't suppose you've ever had a Christmas either, Reese" she concluded.

"Nah, not after the bombs dropped. _Everything_ stopped then" Derek said as they walked out into the whirling snow bound for the mound of whiteness in the distance which had once been a car.  
>"I remember the last time though with Kyle" Derek recalled a little misty eyed, "we had this really huge tree and I accidentally set it alight lighting the candles. I got such a whacking from my Dad for endangering Kyle and gutting the living room. After that our parents got some electric lights. But we never got to use them…" he broke off.<p>

Sarah felt a lump rise in her throat, the one that always surfaced at the mention of Kyle. But this time she also felt sorry for Derek. Trying hard not to let him notice she grabbed a plastic shovel from the shed next to the car and vigorously started clearing the snow off the SUV. Unfortunately, they only had a single garage, something Derek was constantly complaining about because it was usually his car that was left outside in these adverse weather conditions.  
><em>Bloody metal gets it all…<em>

"Whoa, whoa, Sarah, NO!" Derek cried, a look of pure horror on his face. He rushed over to her and, yanking the shovel from her grasp, he stammered "You … you've scratched it! Look, that mark wasn't there earlier."

Derek ventured into the shed and returned clutching something that resembled a cross between a very soft broom and a feather duster. It was with this instrument he delicately started to brush the snow off the rest of the car, the part that was not scratched, while Sarah climbed in the passenger's side and slammed the door shut, her finest '_men_' scowl firmly in place.

…

The roads were slippery and icy making them drive rather slowly and carefully, even though Cameron was continually monitoring the condition of the road's surface and letting her system suggest the best possible speed according to analysis.

"Where are we going to get a turkey from, John?" Cameron asked not taking her eyes off the road even for a split second whilst dodging in and out of the other traffic.

"I suppose we'll find one in that grocery store in the Galleria Mall. That'll also give us a chance to buy some presents. And I already know what I'm getting Mom: a cookbook. Hope there's one on turkeys; I don't fancy pancakes for Christmas dinner 'cos that's what it'll be if Mom ruins that bird."

"Good idea. Sarah Connor can only cook pancakes. Following a recipe on how to cook the turkey should result in its successful preparation. That will also please Derek."

Thinking of his gut-bashing uncle, John decided to purchase the largest turkey the shop had to offer. "I don't know what to get Derek though, apart from food. Any ideas, Cameron?"

"Derek Reese likes guns and cars. You could buy him a total care kit for his semi-automatic, the one he treasures, or you could get him some upholstery preservers for the SUV" Cameron suggested.  
>"He is always complaining about the seats getting worn, especially when I sit in them" she added, taking her eyes off the road for the first time and dejectedly looking down at her feet.<p>

John felt the familiar feeling of wanting to protect her from the world as he followed her gaze down to her feet and took in the combat boots she was wearing. It was at this moment that he knew exactly what he would get Cameron for Christmas: a pair of warm snow boots with that fluffy woollen lining. If only he knew which size shoes she took.

Grinning to himself and pondering what her reaction to such a present would be like he opened up the packet of crisps he had swiped from the kitchen sideboard, his hand absent-mindedly engaging in a conveyor-belt like action to and fro from the crisp packet to his mouth. _Turkey and pumpkin flavoured crisps. How revolting…_  
>He had nearly finished them off all the same before a sudden thought struck him and he held out the packet to Cameron as they waited at the traffic lights at which they had to turn left to the mall.<p>

"Want some? Since I didn't get round to making you breakfast…"

With the tiniest of grateful smiles on her lips Cameron extended her hand and delicately placed it into the bag of crisps John was holding. Extracting a single crisp, she held it between her fingers and stared John in the eyes for a few seconds. He felt the blood rush to his head again, this time making a mental note on having to work on this blushing thing he had with Cameron. Lowering his gaze to the crisp still in her hand he noticed she had done something to her fingernails. They seemed longer than usual and had whitish rims.  
><em>Can terminators grow their nails at will?…<em>

"Have you done something to them?" John queried, gesturing at her nails, before looking at her pensively and adding "They seem … different."

"They are."

Cameron smiled at him, popped the crisp into her mouth and bit it before she slowly turned away and refocused her attention on the now green traffic lights.

…

It wasn't something Derek was pleased about. No sir! Going shopping was not exactly his idea of a fun day, least of all if you were accompanied by Sarah Connor. Anyway, all this Christmas decorating lark was not a man thing in his opinion and he'd much rather have had nothing to do with it. Sighing, he drew up outside a wooden stall with a makeshift fence behind it boarding off quite a large area in which a still remarkably huge selection of Christmas trees were awaiting last minute purchasing. It was getting colder, he was getting hungry and he kept thinking about the bodywork of his precious SUV which was by now completely covered in filthy slush and worse still, probably salt!

They both got out of the car, Sarah impatiently telling Derek to get a move on and slamming her door, thus making him postpone his immediately commenced inspection of the car's underside to a later time. Grumbling about car door slammers, he demonstrated to nobody how to close a car door lovingly and silently and followed her into the Christmas tree corral. Sarah was nowhere to be seen, for she was already stealthily making her way through the rows of firs eying each individual one sceptically and comparing sizes.

Cursing, Derek followed her footprints in the fresh snow daydreaming of a perfect Christmas Eve. _His _perfect Christmas Eve. He could have been sitting nice and cosy on the sofa, with his legs up on the dumpty, a beer in his hand and watching TV, but no, that _metal_ had to go and open its big mouth! His life sucked.

…

"Where shall we go first, then?"

They were standing in the ornately decorated entrance hall of the mall and John was looking in all directions taking in the beautiful scenes before his eyes. Exquisite garlands were draped all over the place, faerie lights were glittering like stars and one or two cherubs were strategically placed so that offending parts were obscured by plastic fir trees.

Cameron cocked her head at John not quite understanding his question. There was, after all, only one grocery store at the mall and that was to the left of them. She was sure shoe shops, electronics stores and Victoria's Secret did not stock poultry.

Reading her expression like a book as only he could, John elaborated further before she could inquire.  
>"Apart from getting the turkey, I thought we might have a look around at the other stores while we're here. You know, for presents" John explained, his brain on overdrive trying to devise a scheme to sneak into a shoe shop without Cameron noticing and at the same time trying to figure out how to obtain her size as casually as possible without her cottoning on what he was up to.<p>

"Oh. Thank you for explaining."  
><em>How did he know what I was going to ask?…<em>

He knew it was no use. Cameron would never leave his side, all the more so her having entered full protector mode in a crowded and unfamiliar vicinity such as this mall. He would just have to ask her outright and let her know what he intended to get her. The thought of Cameron's never wavering loyalty filled him with a henceforth unfelt sense of contentment and happiness. Wasn't this what he had always wanted all his life? Someone he could trust, someone who would always be there. Someone with whom he could feel safe and be safe in the knowledge that she would never get hurt because of him.  
><em>I'll never let anyone hurt you…<em>

"John?"

"Eh? Whassat?" He shook his head as she brought him out of his musings.

"You have been staring at me for 54 seconds now without saying anything."

John shuffled his feet guiltily and shifted his gaze from her to the ground like a little boy being caught with his hand in the biscuit tin.

"Oh, um, I was just thinking…" he muttered.

"About what?"

"About getting some shoes for Mom."

Smiling to himself on behalf of this sudden brainwave he led Cameron into one of the shoe shops. Maybe he could make it look like he wanted to buy Sarah some new shoes. And maybe Cameron would not catch on.  
>They entered the store and John found himself in unfamiliar territory. Had this been a hardware store he would have felt at home at once but a shoe shop was something entirely different. Feeling a little forlorn he scanned the aisles on either side hoping he would see a pair of boots that would suit Cameron.<br>_Blast! They all look the same…_  
>Then a considerably fluffy pair right next to the till caught his eye.<br>_Cameron would look adorable in those… _  
>But how would he smuggle them out without her noticing?<br>There was only one thing for it.

"Erm, Cameron, if you were to buy some nice and cosy boots, which ones would _you_ choose? It's just, I don't know which ones Mom would like."

"John, Sarah would not appreciate it if I were to choose her boots. You know she doesn't approve of me. She would not wear them."

Cameron looked so disappointed with herself it tore at John's heart. He made up his mind there and then not to tolerate any more snide remarks and digs from either Sarah or Derek about her and berated himself for not having defended her more often.  
><em>She's not like the other ones. You don't have to trust her but you can trust me… <em>

Giving Cameron what he hoped was a reassuring smile John stepped right up in front of her and looked her directly in the eyes, still angry with himself for having let his family treat her like _metal _for such a long time. And for how he had treated her.

"Mom doesn't have to know that you helped me choose. So, what do you think, which ones would you buy?"

Cameron put on her scary robot face as she turned and strode purposefully down the aisle to their right, finally coming to a halt at the far end of the store in front of a stack of boxed combat boots not unlike the ones she was wearing.

"These ones."

She picked out a pair from a box and handed them to John. Amazed at Cameron's taste and style, John took them and compared them to the boots currently on her feet. Nearly completely forgetting about his scheme thanks to Cameron being … well, Cameron, and liking her all the more for it he suddenly remembered what he intended to do and casually turned one boot over in his hands revealing its size which he instantly committed to memory. He was perfectly sure Cameron would automatically choose a pair in her size.

"You do know that these look exactly like the ones you've got on?"

"Yes."

"But why would you choose the same ones? I always thought girls kind of liked to have a wider variety at their disposal?" John couldn't help grinning.

"These boots are perfect for everyday use. They are durable and protective in fights and they can be worn with a wide variety of clothing. I would choose them" Cameron explained before taking a step closer towards John and adding "And I'm not a girl, John."

Cameron still had her stoic _machine_ face set, and her monotonous voice to go with it would once have made him feel uneasy. But her eyes were bright and she gazed directly at him, somehow daring him to defy her. John knew he would always be able to read her when he looked into those dark brown pools which for others would forever remain fathomless.

_That fire in your eyes isn't just the glow of machines…_

…

"We'll have that one" Sarah decided for the umpteenth time pointing to a fairly large tree in one of the back rows. Derek dropped the tree he was holding on top of the others littering the ground around them, roared and crashed through the rows in front of Sarah's chosen one in order to retrieve it. He had already told the bloke who owned the stall to _'op it_ as he had approached Derek to give him a mouthful because of the way he had started to 'discard' the trees Sarah did not approve of. Noticing the dangerous look on Sarah's face the man had thought better of it and disappeared.  
>Covered in twigs, needles and slushy snow Derek emerged cursing from between two large Scots pines dragging the tree of Sarah's choice behind him.<p>

"If you damage it, we'll have to look for another one" Sarah warned.

Utterly horrified, Derek almost tenderly stood the tree upright and started picking bits of straw and grass of its branches.

"No need, Sarah, this is a beautiful one. Come on, let's take it and get home. I wanna be back before those two arrive with the grub. Hope that _metal_ didn't touch mine. I won't eat it if…"

Sarah cut him off and scowled at him. "The turkey is for tomorrow, Derek, and it will be for all of us. You're going to eat it even if tin miss cooks the lot. We're having a family dinner and you are part of this family. So quit your bitching!"

He looked intently at her "I mean it. I'm not eating anything that's been prepared by _her_. In the future, _metal_ found a way to poison our supplies. A lot of people died, Sarah. Kyle got sick, and so did I. We were lucky we'd had our own lunch in the trenches so we only had some tea and stale biscuits in the mess hall. Even that was enough to make us ill. You shouldn't let _her_ near that kitchen."

Derek was serious about this, Sarah could see it in his eyes. They always went misty when he talked about his brother which he seldom did. She relented and even gave him a small smile.

"Derek, Cameron could have poisoned us anytime she wanted to. She's had ample opportunities, why should she go to all the trouble now at Christmas?"

"Because they're twisted."

Sarah sighed "All right, I'll prepare the turkey and make sure Cameron stays far away. Even though I'm sure she would do a much better job of cooking it. John told me she'd read all the cookbooks on the shelves and memorized all the recipes" she explained before folding her arms and adding "Oh, and by the way, Reese, I'll kill you if you criticize my cooking."

Derek held up his hands in mock surrender and reassured her "I'd never do that, Sarah, you know me. Anyway, your cooking was legendary in the future…"

He left it at that and strode away towards the exit of the Christmas tree compound taking her prize tree with him and leaving a very confused Sarah standing amidst the rejects he had disposed of.

…

"Cameron, can you look for a pair that'll fit Mom and give them a thorough inspection? I want them to be perfect. No scratches, no lousy workmanship and so on. If anyone can scrutinize a pair of shoes, it'll be you" John grinned at her knowingly and started walking back down the aisle praying she'd be occupied long enough.

"Where are you going?" Cameron asked, instantly getting up from where she had started to crouch down searching through the haphazardly stacked boxes for Sarah's size.

Quick thinking on John's behalf, he indicated towards the other end of the shop "I'm just going over there to, err… oh yeah, I need to ask the cashier if she can wrap them up for us."

He had made up this little yarn so that he could take a peek at the woolly boots he had already spotted as they had entered the shop, take note of their model number and nip over to the cashier to ask the lady if she could find a pair of them in Cameron's size for him and wrap them up without her noticing.

"How lovely, buying shoes for your girlfriend as a surprise. A perfect little gentleman!" the fat lady behind the counter cooed. "I wish my husband would be so thoughtful" she added under her breath.

John tried hard not to picture himself walking down the street in his worn out jeans hand in hand with Cameron in her new boots and the fat lady in too tight ones cursing her husband. Before he turned red once more or burst out laughing he whispered to the cashier "I'll be back in a sec to pay" and ran over to an alert looking Cameron scanning the surroundings for possible threats.

"Well, did you find a pair for Mom?"

"Yes, but it wasn't easy. Most of the boxes had wrong sizes in them compared to the description on the front. And some only contained a single boot. Humans seem to treat shops' merchandise very untidily" she concluded, handing John a pair that looked like they had only just survived Judgement Day.

"Err, these seem a bit … _worn_, don't they?" John remarked a little disgusted, holding them at arm's length.

"Yes. I'm afraid this is the only pair in Sarah's size I could find. She must have a common size that many people buy. There are seven pairs left in my size. My size doesn't seem to be very popular" Cameron deduced, indicating towards the pair she had originally handed John.

He breathed a sigh of relief, glad that his earlier assumption about Cameron's initial choice had been correct.

"I'll go and ask the assistant if she has any more in the backroom or somewhere. You just stay put here guarding that pair so nobody buys them" John told her, handing her the boots.  
><em>Good old Mom and her common feet. I must have the luck of the devil…<em>

And with that second brainwave he walked off, ignoring Cameron as she started to say "But John, there are no other customers in the shop apart from us…"

The cashier already had the boots wrapped up in a parcel and gave John a conspiracional wink as he placed himself in front of the till so that Cameron's view of it was obscured.  
>Opening his rucksack and discreetly slipping the parcel inside, he paid and said Goodbye to the assistant.<p>

"My, she'll look absolutely _lovely_ in them" the fat lady whispered as John was about to return to Cameron. "A perfect little angel. Is this your first Christmas together?"

"Um, …yeah, it is. And I'm sure she'll look great in them. Thanks" a crimson John said politely while hastily retreating before she could condemn him to continue talking about his 'girlfriend'.

Cameron was still standing exactly as he had left her securing the other boots. John was relieved she hadn't noticed his purchase; she would have commented on it otherwise, he was sure.

"Forget it, Cameron, they haven't got any more in Mom's size" he said, jerking his head towards the exit. "Let's go."

"Aren't we going to purchase these?" Cameron inquired a little confused as to the fact why he had made her guard the boots as if his life depended on them if he had no intention of buying them after all.  
><em>Humans are so unpredictable at times…<em>

"No, on second thoughts, we can't get Mom any in that state. I'll just have to find something else."

Hoping that this would take the subject away from shoes he took the boots from her and replaced them on the shelf before hurrying off towards the exit, Cameron at his heels.

"You do not need to find something else for Sarah, John. Your first idea was a cookbook on how to prepare turkey" Cameron reminded him as they stood outside the shoe shop and John was wondering which way to go now.

"I know, but I was thinking the book could be from _you_, you know?" John grinned at her, not being able to forget what the fat lady had said.  
><em>…your girlfriend.<em>

"From me? You think I should give Sarah something as well?" Cameron inquired, regarding him with open-mouthed astonishment.

"Why not? All family members give each other something for Christmas" John replied with a smile at her innocent expression.

Cameron frowned, surprised and at the same time overwhelmed that John had apparently included her into the family just like that, even though she was unsure if Sarah would even accept a present from her. She knew Derek wouldn't, that was for sure. He'd run a mile sooner than be found fraternizing with _metal_.

"And Mom'll have something for you, too. I'm sure about that" John continued, wondering all along if the feeling that had started to bubble up from deep inside him was what others would call _normal_. Like doing the Christmas shopping with your girlfriend. Even though in his case, the girl next to him happened to be a cyborg from the future sent back in time to protect him. But Cameron had done so much more for him than merely act as his bodyguard. She had been something close to a friend for him, and perhaps more, hadn't he tried to shut his mind down to that fact and been so blind. John smiled to himself, glad that as of today he was finally awake.

…


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"It's not going in there like that, no way. I'm not having it. Put a tarpaulin or something under it."

Derek stood in front of the SUV, his arms folded and his face set while Sarah gave him one of her best barely tolerable looks.

"Derek, that's what the bloody thing is built for. Why do you think we got a pick-up in the first place?" she hissed, waving her arms about while gesturing at the car.

"_I_ got us that beauty, so it's mine by rights" Derek countered, running his hand lovingly over the mudguard. "Those damn needles might scratch the finish" he added wide-eyed, an expression akin to someone who's priceless collectable had just been man-handled by an ignoramus.

Trembling with rage Sarah muttered '_I'm trying, I'm trying_' to the heavens before stomping off towards a nearby building site. Wrenching open the chained and padlocked gates with a force even Cameron would have been proud of she stalked onto the site only to emerge shortly afterwards carrying a sufficiently large piece of plastic sheeting which would fit snugly into the bed of the car. She passed Derek wordlessly, dumped her plastic in its designated place and got into the passenger's side closing the door with such a thud it made the glass vibrate and Derek jump.  
>Feeling a little put in his place by Sarah, Derek heaved the tree into the back and sheepishly got into the car.<p>

They drove in silence for considerable time until Derek suddenly pulled up at the kerb outside a shutdown petrol station, killed the engine and faced his companion.  
>"Look, Sarah, about this car… I just happen to like it, all right? I never had me own car in the future, nobody did. Well, apart from John and Ca… the <em>metal<em>. They had some sort of dune buggy we kept at the ready for them for quick getaways."

It was at times like these when Derek reminded Sarah so much of his brother. The loyalty in his eyes when he talked about his general. Or the fire when he ranted on about the machines just like Kyle used to. Sarah knew Derek would never betray the trust John put into him, even if he did not always agree with the insubordinate boy, particularly where a certain machine was concerned. She finally relented.

"I … I'm sorry, Derek. I know all this", she gestured around them, "means a lot to you. Only it's just such a typical man thing with the car…"  
>She shook her head and treated him to a very un-Sarah Connor-ish smile.<br>"I'll get used to it, I suppose."

A trifle stunned at her sudden change of attitude, Derek found himself returning the smile.  
>"Aw shucks. I dunno, it's just this place – it makes you soft" he admitted and added in measured tones "In the future people don't have real possessions. There's nothing left to <em>own<em> apart from the clothes you wear and what you can carry around. Kyle had this photograph; I always thought it was sick, having a picture of Conn… I mean John's mother … err … you … eh?"  
>His cheeks turned a little pink and he continued "Well anyway, all <em>I<em> had was my faithful plasma rifle and now I'm here all these things you lot take for granted are still a bit new to me again, you know? I suppose that's why I was cleaning my teeth with your toothbrush for about twenty minutes that day – that was the first time in years I could actually use a real toothbrush again."

Now it was Sarah's turn to feel a bit embarrassed. No, wait, Sarah Connor doesn't do _embarrassed_, so she blamed it on the season's spirit getting to her.  
>"I did get you your own toothbrush, didn't I?" she smirked knowingly at Derek before her expression changed again and she regarded him coldly.<p>

Derek braced himself for something painful that was inevitably about to come, recognising that look she gave him.  
><em>Cripes, what have I done wrong now?…<em>

Never one to beat about the bush, Sarah asked him outright about what had been on her mind for some considerable time.  
>"Derek, about Cameron. What happened in the future?"<p>

"Eh? What do you mean?" he inquired, flabbergasted at the typically feminine abrupt change of subject.

"I'm not stupid, Derek, I've been putting two and two together for quite some time now. I guess there's more to my son and that machine than meets the eye. The furtive glances, the looks they give each other, the looks _she_ gives _him_. That is not normal behaviour for a terminator. I'll give her that, she is different than the others, but..."

Derek cut her off looking quite stunned, if not a little offended.  
>"What! Those metals are all alike when it comes down to us, it makes no difference if they resemble some crappy body builder or are made to look like a poor little girl I once knew" he practically growled.<p>

Unfazed by Derek's glares and raised voice Sarah continued, her curiosity at this brief insight on Cameron's origin getting the better of her.  
>"That's just what I'm getting at, Derek. Why Cameron? Why was <em>she<em> sent back? Why _her_? And what do you mean with she was_ made to look_? Was Cameron constructed to take someone's place? If so, who was this girl she apparently resembles?"

This was something Derek had not expected at all. Sarah really seemed to have been putting two and two together. He calmed down a degree and eyed her contemplatively.  
>"Hmm. Oh well, I suppose it'll do no harm telling you" he trailed off scratching his chin, and hesitantly launched into explanation.<br>"Alright. Her name was Alison Young; she was a radio operator at our base. Skynet got hold of her and…"  
>He turned to face Sarah with a grimace and spat "Then the <em>metal<em> turned up."

Sarah nodded, letting Derek know she understood what his trailing off conveyed.  
>"So this Alison, why was she chosen? I mean as a template for Cameron. Were my son and Alison … a couple?" Sarah forced out.<p>

Even though she had known it for years now and was continually drumming into her son who he was destined to become, it was still not easy for her to think of John not as a little boy but as a man and all the more so as a man in an unknown future in a relationship with some girl she would evidently never get to know.

"I dunno, Sarah. I don't think so. She was a bit young. All I know is that he rescued her as a little girl from the ruined tunnels after a terminator raid and sort of had a soft spot for her ever since. I don't know the details."

"What do you mean you_ don't know_? You were _there_!" Sarah exclaimed.

Derek fidgeted nervously in his seat. "Look, Sarah, I wasn't John's _uncle_ back in the future, I was his soldier and he was my general. That was all. He never confided more in me than in any other guy."  
>He gave her something akin to a hurt look before continuing.<br>"Some day Alison went on a recon mission with her platoon and they were ambushed. Most of them were killed, others including Alison were captured and probably hauled off to a Skynet camp somewhere. That's what the few remaining survivors told us. A few weeks later when we had lost all hope of ever seeing them alive again, Alison suddenly walked into base camp. Only it wasn't Alison – it was _her_. The _metal_ had us all fooled, even the dogs. Only Connor wasn't fooled for long. We all thought he'd gone off his rocker when he suddenly aimed a missile launcher straight at her. Then they took her down to the labs and that's the last I saw of her for months."

Derek paused scratching his stubble, trying to recall details he had long ago pushed to the furthest recesses of his mind.  
>"John and some creepy tech called Daniel would lock themselves in the lab with the <em>metal<em> for hours at a time. Then one day John announced that he was going to use metal against metal from now on. That's when the reprogramming must have started. I wasn't there then, I was on a long away mission. I'd just heard from his latest tactics and couldn't believe it. When I got back to base this metal Alison walked up to me right out of the blue and I nearly shot her. There had been rumours about her but I'd dismissed them as idle gossip. I couldn't believe that the general was actually _living with metal_."

"So John and … _Cameron_ were a couple?" Sarah rasped, a lump rising in her throat.

"Look, as I said, all I heard was talk. They were always together, she never left his side. Just like now. Yeah, I know she protected him and she still does, but she can't be trusted. I said that to him in the future once and he told me I wouldn't understand, he said that she was different. Codswallop in my opinion. Anyway, John started making questionable decisions that got a lot of people killed. He seemed to care more about the machines than about his own kind" Derek spat, a sneer playing on his lips.

"Watch it. That's my son you're talking about!" Sarah warned, knowing full well that John always had cared more about everything and everybody than most people did. It was all he had, she supposed. But she knew he would never have sacrificed anybody unless it had been for … the greater good.

…

"I want the 'Judge Dredd' costume!" the sulking little girl told her mother as the two of them headed out of Santa's Grotto. Evidently she was not at all pleased about the pink ballerina outfit she had received.

"Sue-Helen, little girls don't go to the fancy dress as 'Judge Dredd'. You'll look lovely as a ballerina" her mother insisted, catching the telltale signs of an imminent tantrum and trying her best to de-rail her daughter from it at an early stage.

The little girl pouted and squared up against her mother. "But Mum, I wanna be a ruthless killing machine."

Sighing, the woman took her daughter by the hand and led her towards a sweet shop, in full hope that sticky toffees would take the girl's mind off of further hostile tendencies.

Glancing over at Cameron beside him and smiling proudly, John had to admit that there was one girl that could have fulfilled both mother's and daughter's wishes. In his eyes, Cameron was of course far more than a mere machine assassin. How often had he marvelled over the lithe, graceful form of a dancer that seemed inherent in her every move. How often had he longed to see her dance. Derek had clandestinely watched Cameron dance at their old house once and had told John about it. He seemed to remember Derek using terms such as '_loose wires'_ in describing it to him and he knew this little secret he shared with his uncle was one he would much rather have shared with Cameron.

They were standing in a secluded corner outside the bookshop, Cameron as vigilant as always, monitoring the crowds passing them for obvious signs of threats while John was doing his best at hastily trying to cram the cookbook they had just bought for Sarah into his already bulging-to-bursting-point rucksack. He had adamantly refused Cameron's offer to repack his rucksack more efficiently earning himself what he supposed was the cyborg equivalent of a huff from her. But he managed to mollify her by insisting that she would get to wrap the book back at the house, her being so much better at it.  
><em>I wish I could let her repack it. I can't get the damn thing in…<em>

"What about Derek, should I get him a present, too?" Cameron asked, her experiences with the resistance fighter leaving no room for uncertainty that Derek would either discard her gift unopened or throw it at her.

"I suppose so. But only give it to him if he has something for you, okay? I'll talk to him" John offered, obviously thinking along the same lines.

"Then I'll get him something for his car. Perhaps he loves his car more than he hates me so he might appreciate it."

Tears shot into John's eyes at her self pitying remark and he felt the anger towards his uncle flare up inside him again, lacing his words with a bitter tone.  
>"You know what? I'm sure in some other timeline Derek would be wrapping up a can of WD-40 for you. Well, you can forestall him now. Yeah, that's what he'll be getting for his damn car. What do you think, Cameron?"<p>

Trying to repress the warm feeling her processors were generating and attribute it to random series of code, Cameron couldn't help feeling pleased about how her opinion and views on even the most trivial of subjects always seemed to matter to John. And choosing a present for Derek Reese was, in her opinion, trivial. She turned to John giving him a shy, but nevertheless approving sort of smile.  
>"That seems appropriate. Thank you for the idea."<p>

Then her expression changed into one of remorse.  
>"I still don't know what to get you, John. Since presents are deemed to be a surprise I should choose something without you seeing but that is impossible. I cannot protect you and at the same time keep you from accompanying me."<p>

Seeing her frown and her face scrunch up with the signs of an inner conflict John reacted before his mind caught up with him. He rose from battling his rucksack and placed his hands on her shoulders, looking directly at her.  
>"Cameron, you don't have to get me anything, okay? It doesn't matter. This day has been the best present I could have hoped for" John said with genuine sincerity hoping she'd understand.<br>_Any day with you is like a gift to me… _

Deeming the suggestions her HUD displayed to her as inappropriate Cameron merely remained motionless and studied John's face with that longing expression of hers, the one he secretly loved and dreamt about so many nights.  
><em>John would not approve of it if I hugged or kissed him… <em>

They stayed in that very position for what to John seemed like an eternity. He was sure if he tried to hug her or give her a peck on the cheek she would pull away so he settled for giving her shoulders a light squeeze before reluctantly removing his arms from her. The sudden loss of contact made him feel uneasy.

Wondering why she fleetingly had to fight the impulse to place John's hands back onto her shoulders, Cameron gave him a slight smile and simply said "Thank you, John."

After looking each other in the eyes for quite some time they started to make their way to the grocery store, John's rucksack finally conquered.

…

"I'm not saying anything against John" Derek scratched his stubble while gazing out of the snow spattered windscreen and focusing on some imaginary object.  
>"I never questioned his decisions in the future. I would have died for John Connor. We all would have. Some of us did…"<p>

He broke off with that misty look in his eyes. Sarah's indignation subsided and gave way to understanding and pity. Derek had lost his brother on his general's orders and had never been told what had happened to him. He had had to live with a chasm of loss inside him and the ever nagging uncertainty of Kyle's fate until he'd had the chance of meeting his general's younger self, revealing the horrible truth that his brother, as he knew him, was dead. No time travelling could alter that fact. Still, Derek counted himself lucky to have been able to see his brother as a little boy once more. Maybe they _could_ change the future. Maybe this Kyle and the younger version of himself would be able to lead a _normal_ life, different from the one he knew. If they stopped Judgement Day, if they defeated Skynet, if the human race prevailed.  
>These were a lot of 'ifs', but seeing his little brother alive made it all worthwhile. Derek would die for John Connor. And for Kyle. In the future, in the past, and today. Always.<p>

"Derek, about Kyle, there's something I'd like to know" Sarah put in awkwardly. She longed to question Derek about Kyle, the only man she had well and truly loved, if only for that terribly brief span of time they had had together. But on the other hand she was afraid. Afraid that whatever she learned would perhaps alter the happy memories she had of him.

"You mean if there was another woman in the future?" Derek turned to face her, his expression hard.

Sarah was somewhat lost for words. "Err… no, that's not what I meant" she explained, feeling the former waitress inside her suddenly rise to the surface, rendering her speechless the way it used to when people blamed her for having placed wrong orders or little kids popped ice cream in her pockets. A feeling she hadn't experienced in years. Sarah forced the notion away and continued.  
>"Kyle told me the women in your future were good fighters. He said there was nothing more to it. I believed him then and I still do."<p>

She paused fixing Derek with a contemplative, almost calculating look.  
>"What he never mentioned, though, was that John had machines working for him. He never mentioned Cameron. Kyle said he had fought for John from 2021 to 2027 and Cameron said she was from 2027. They should have known about each other."<p>

This time Derek didn't flinch at the mention of the cyborg, he merely sighed looking like a battle hardened soldier tired of nostalgia.  
>"I don't know, Sarah. And I don't like talking about it. But after all, it is you, so…"<br>He sighed again, rubbed his eyes wearily and took a deep breath before continuing.  
>"Look, Kyle went missing before I learned about the reprogramming. He was in the same platoon as Alison and I never saw him again after the ambush. I always thought Skynet had gotten hold of them both, that Kyle was with them. Then I found out from the survivors that he hadn't been there at all. It turned out that Connor had sent him on some secret mission and no one could tell me any details, so I went to ask John myself. That was when I first saw the <em>metal<em> in base camp."

"And he never told you that he had sent Kyle back in time?" Sarah inquired while at the same time deeming it appropriate not to mention to Derek that his brother had told her he had actually volunteered to return to the past for her. Not yet anyway. Derek's mood was currently too sombre for any dire revelations concerning Kyle.

Derek's expression was suddenly grave. "Nope. All I got out of him and the _metal_ was that Kyle had been sent on a mission. Beats me why Connor never told me the truth, though."

Sarah thought she knew why John hadn't told Derek. Even though her son had known Kyle would never be able to return he had sent him back. To protect her from the T800.  
><em>Did John know then that Kyle was going to be his father? Or was Kyle already his father before he left?<em> _Did John have my tape or hadn't I recorded it yet? He must have had that photograph because he'd given it to Kyle. Christ…_  
>Thinking about time travel and trying to overcome its paradoxes and causality loops was starting to give Sarah a headache. But she had to reassure Derek.<br>"I think John didn't want to hurt you, Derek. I don't know if he knew that Kyle was his father and you were his uncle, but he must have known you were brothers."

Derek considered this for a while as he watched other cars slowly passing them on the slippery road before speaking again.  
>"I hope John's driving carefully in this bleeding snow."<p>

"Cameron will be driving. She usually does" Sarah replied, a weight taken off her mind that Derek was holding no grudges against John because of his future self's decisions.

It must have shown on her face because Derek grinned and settled the matter once and for all.  
>"Look Sarah, you know I love John as if he were my own son. There's nothing General Connor could have done to change that. Anyway, I'm not sure about all this time travel stuff. Perhaps different timelines do exist. Perhaps there's one where General Connor knows what's happened now, today, and one where he doesn't. I'm no Bubble Tech, even thinking about all of it freaks me out."<p>

He ran his fingers through his hair in desperation, shook his head and started the car.  
>"C'mon, let's get this tree home. I'm feeling peckish."<p>

…

"What about this one, John? It would be enough for all of us including Derek's second and third helping."

She was holding up the largest _butterball_ John had ever seen. Undoubtedly, the plucked frozen bird must have been of a considerable weight, but for Cameron it was as light as the feathers it was missing.

"Shh! Put it down, Cameron. Into the trolley with it, quick!" John hissed at her as nonchalantly as possible, given the small crowd of shoppers that had gathered between them and the meat counter, all eying Cameron with astonishment.

Sheepishly grinning at their audience John nodded knowingly and dropped a few casual remarks such as "She works out a lot" and "Always ate her dinners up, hah ha" before wishing he could disappear on the spot.

Clutching Cameron's hand in his right and pushing the shopping trolley now containing the turkey with his left, John broke into a quick pace one step short of running whilst expertly navigating the narrow aisles and manoeuvring them into the health food section where nobody ever seemed to go. Why pay good money for the same crap in a more gaudy wrapping?  
>John deemed it a safe place to refrain from zooming through the store and ceased his relentless pushing of the trolley. They slid along with the trolley's momentum for a few yards and finally came to a stop in front of the 'biological dried fruits' shelf. Panting, John simply glared at Cameron at a loss for words waiting to get his breath back.<p>

She knew she must have done something wrong by the look on his face. Cameron just stood there, her stony expression firmly set, awaiting the inevitable telling off she had gotten so used to receiving.  
>Which made the surprise that came next all the more so.<p>

"Stupid idiots, can't they mind their own business?" John blurted out. Seeing her emotionless features he guessed that little scene at the meat counter had upset her so he clasped her shoulders again and squeezed them briefly in what he hoped was a reassuring way before letting go.  
>"Don't worry, Cameron, it doesn't matter. We'll just have to be more careful in future. You see, normally, a girl of your build just couldn't hold up that ten pound turkey in an outstretched hand. They had good reason to stare at us" he finished with a little chortle.<p>

Cameron did so not expect this. She had been prepared for John to shout at her for being a freak and showing him up. Like he had done on countless occasions. The way this 'new' John treated her was so different to what she had become accustomed to and at the same time was what she had sometimes secretly dared to wish for or at least hope. It was like a silver lining for her.

"I'm sorry John. I know I should have learned to blend in more by now. Perhaps there is still damage to my chip" Cameron declared apologetically, treating John to her best puppy-dog face.

Little did she know this would be the look which would always let her get her own way with John. How could he ever be cross with her after that?

He slowly shook his head while biting his bottom lip, contemplating.

"No, Cameron, I don't think so. I think this is just _you_. I mean the _real_ you, when you're not acting the part as an infiltrator. Even though you're programmed to learn, you're still consciously trying to be someone you're not. That's not always easy and in situations like these you sometimes just forget. It happens."

"Not to a terminator. We're programmed to blend in. I shouldn't forget."

"Cameron, it's _me_ you're talking to! John Connor. Am I always the messianic hero I'm supposed to be, the great saviour, the one people follow? Cripes, at times I'd be surprised why anybody follows me. So believe me when I say it happens. Sometimes we forget."

He paused to let this sink in while Cameron gazed at him with a faraway look in her eyes as if she was processing what he had just said. Absent-mindedly having grabbed a packet of organic sun dried apricots at an exorbitant price and a rather disconcerting shade of brown, John dumped them in the trolley and took a deep breath before continuing. He had to let her know this, he felt this was important for her. For them.

"We just forget. Both of us do. Because you're not only a terminator. You're so much more. Even if you don't believe it yourself, I do."

John tried to make it sound as logical and as completely plausible as possible. He desperately wanted Cameron to understand that he had come to terms with her being different. That he had accepted the fact that, inside, she was a machine and thought differently to him. And that he liked her for who she was, not what she was. For she was his Cameron. There was no one else like her in the world.

She took a step towards him, closing the gap between them, her gaze never leaving his. John's heart jumped in to his throat. He could smell her shampoo, something flowery, very fragrant but not overpowering, like water lilies. She always looked so pristine, so well kempt, even after just having emerged from a single-handed battle with a terminator.  
><em>Just like the heroine in a movie<em>, John thought. _She's always…perfect…_

John found himself bumping into the dried fruits shelf behind him while Cameron's face was inches from his, her lips slightly parted as if in anticipation of what was yet to come.  
><em>Breathe, I must remember to breathe<em>.  
>Feeling a little light headed, John forced himself not to do what his instincts told him to do, not to listen to his hormones. When or if he and Cameron were ever to kiss, it was not going to be in the health food section.<p>

Of a supermarket.

In a mall.

He wanted their first kiss, Cameron's kiss, to be special, deserving of how much he cared for her. So the would-be general inside John told him to stand down.

Cameron must have read it in his eyes, for she cocked her head at him, surprise registering in her features before she suddenly leaned in with lightning speed and gave John an ever so fleeting peck on his left cheek, retreating just as quickly.  
>"Thank you for believing in me, John."<p>

John went weak at the knees. Holding onto one of the shelves he gave Cameron a smile and shook his head as she instinctively reached out to steady him.  
>"It's okay, Cameron. I'm fine" he grinned at her rather sheepishly before steeling himself. "Come on, let's get this bird home."<p>

Wondering why he hadn't felt the colour rising in his cheeks this time, a slightly dazed John pushed their trolley in the direction of the household goods department where they were to pick up Derek's WD-40 and a few rolls of wrapping paper on the way to the check-out, Cameron close beside him.

…


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

The snow was falling in thick tufts covering the world around Sarah and Derek in a fluffy cotton wool like carpet and muffling out all sounds as they got out of the SUV in the Connor driveway and made their way up the path to the front door. Derek who was carrying the fairly large tree slightly resembled Santa Claus with his snowed up appearance.  
>Strange how everything seems peaceful in a freshly snowed on landscape. The cold air, the silence, the icicles hanging from gutters and branches. The winter world had an air of solitude for Sarah, making her feel at ease. She hadn't felt like being able to let go like this in a very long time. For once she wasn't worrying about John, knowing him safe in the company of Cameron. Even though the way he had treated the cyborg this morning – offering her breakfast and talking to her as if he cared for her – had quite frankly freaked her out to say the least, Sarah had realized that her John, her little boy had suddenly grown up, had taken on responsibilities, had started to become the man she had trained him to become for the greater part of sixteen years.<br>Take that and Derek's revelations about Kyle and her son's future self and it was about as much as she could stand for one day. Getting that tree decorated would help take her mind of things.

"Derek, could you set up the tree in the dining room? I'll order pizza."

"All right, but I'm not decorating it. I'd ruin it" came Derek's muffled reply from the kitchen between gulps. He had obviously found something to tuck in to before the pizza boy arrived.

"Fine. I'll decorate it if you put the lights up."

"What lights, Sarah?" Derek stuck his head out from behind the doorframe swallowing the last piece of the ready made packed sandwiches he had found in the fridge.

Sarah dropped the mobile phone she was keying the number of the pizza delivery service into and regarded him rather panic stricken.  
>"Don't tell me we forgot to buy lights."<p>

Derek, who had already subconsciously ducked back behind his protective door frame in full expectation of Sarah Connor's fury chanced a peek around the corner and quirked an eyebrow at her.

"What?" Sarah asked a little confused as to his strange behaviour.

Having become accustomed to her rages directed at him most of the time, Derek was quite at a loss for words "Nothing … err … looks like we did forget. Err, sorry Sarah."

"It's not your fault. I suppose we're just not used to this sort of thing. We'll just have to nip out and buy some lights before John and Cameron get back, it won't take long."

Sarah placed the phone back in her jacket whilst reminding herself that she wanted to try that _Christmas Special_ pizza she had seen in the leaflet she'd read at breakfast and started to make her way to the door when her train of thought was interrupted by Derek

"Are you getting the _metal_ anything?"

"Why? Do you think John will want a pizza ready for her, too?" Sarah asked incredulously. Sighing, she then added "Oh well, if she doesn't eat it I'm sure _someone_ will" she eyed Derek knowingly and smirked.

"Err, no Sarah, I meant if you'd gotten _it_ a present" Derek explained, his nephew's mother being a constant source of his bewilderment as of late. A little ashamed of himself for even having considered the cyborg, Derek added while rubbing the back of his neck "You know, for Christmas."

"Shit."

"Eh?"

"SHIT!"

"Well, I don't think John would like…"

"DEREK!"

"What!"

"_Presents_. I haven't got any. _We_ haven't got any."

…

"Look Mum, that lady's dead!" The little girl who had desperately wanted to be a comic's lawman of the future tugged excitedly at her mother's sleeve.

"Yes dear. Why don't you just get in the car while Mummy sorts this out?" The mother was trying to cram too much shopping into too small a boot and was not in the mood for listening to her daughter's antics.

"But Mum, she's not breathing. Look!" She repeatedly pulled her mother's hand and pointed at a young woman who was pushing a trolley with a huge turkey in it towards the car opposite them. A young man was slipping and sliding behind her on the icy parking lot, cursing and trying to keep up with her, his breath coming out in large plumes of steam in the freezing winter air, partially obscuring him from view, whereas the air around the girl's face was perfectly clear.

Almost reverently having placed the last bag of groceries on top of the precariously stacked pile of shopping in the boot of her car the mother slammed the door shut and finally glanced over to witness the lady in question at whom her daughter was still impatiently pointing, only to behold the backs of a boy and a girl who were loading their shopping into their car. "Nonsense, Sue-Helen, and it's rude to point! Get in the car."

Looking glum, the little girl reluctantly clambered into the car after her mother. As they started to back out she caught another glimpse of the 'dead lady'. Sue Helen pressed her face against the side window and stared at her in awe.

…

A car was reversing out of the parking space opposite as Cameron headed back from returning the empty trolley. A little girl's face was glued to the window of the car as it slowly passed her. Cameron quirked an eyebrow at the child staring at her, then offered her a small smile and waved, remembering her mission parameter to blend in.  
>Smiling and waving at a little girl staring at her seemed like an appropriate response.<br>_I wonder why she doesn't return the wave?… _

Just then Cameron noticed John who was currently propped up against the side of their Jeep holding his right knee and grimacing in pain. She instantly quickened her pace as she saw him.  
>"What's wrong, John?" Cameron rushed to his side, looking concerned. Still in full protector mode, she scanned the parking lot for anyone or anything that might have inflicted the damage to her charge.<p>

"Damn ice. I slipped and whacked it on the door. Ow!" he winced and jumped as Cameron placed her hand ever so tenderly on his knee.

"It's okay, John. I won't hurt you" she assured him quietly, treating him to another one of those sad half smiles. John was sure he detected disappointment in her voice.

"I know you won't hurt me, Cameron" John breathed, the pain in his knee making his eyes water. Or was that because she evidently still thought he was afraid she might go bad again and hurt him?

She beamed at him this time with a genuinely warm and grateful smile as she delicately moved her fingers over his knee cap, probing the joint.

"Now bend it" she commanded.

John complied and tentatively bent his knee with her hand over it, prepared for the worst.  
>It hardly hurt at all. Or at least much less than he had expected it would.<br>_How does she always do that?…_

Cameron finished her inspection of John's knee. "It's not broken. There will just be a bad bruise. Like on your elbow" she concluded, rolling her eyes at him and following up with something close to an impatient sigh.

John gaped at her, his jaw flapping. "What? I … I … That's…"

"Get in the car, John. Sarah won't forgive me if you acquire any more damage."

Treating him to a mischievous grin, Cameron slid in gracefully behind the wheel as John hobbled over to the passenger's side and awkwardly hoisted himself up onto the seat.

"Blasted Jeep. The next car's gonna be a sports car, nice and low, so I can get in more easily when I'm injured. Oh, and by the way, you _were_ teasing me just then, weren't you?" He looked at her with mock severity, trying hard to suppress a grin at her developing humour.

"Yes John, I was teasing you" Cameron confessed with a smile. She suddenly reached out and lightly squeezed his left knee, the uninjured one, her smile instantly replaced by an expression of utmost seriousness and determination.  
>"I'll never let anything happen to you, John. I promise."<p>

As Cameron started the engine and manoeuvred them out of the parking lot heading for home, John's eyes started to water again, but this time not from pain.  
><em>I'll never let anything happen to you, either… <em>

…

"How could I have forgotten my own son?"

Sarah was sitting at the table staring blankly ahead in a somewhat close to cataleptic state. She had been asking herself similar questions for the better part of half an hour while Derek had been busy fighting the tree. He had eventually managed to erect it in front of the window standing in an old rusty tub filled with wet sand and had tied it to the window knob with a piece of spare rope for added support.

"There. Beautiful" a chuffed Derek remarked to himself eying the slightly skew-whiff tree and sounding genuinely pleased at his own handiwork.  
>"Come on, Sarah. What do you think? John'll love it."<p>

"What kind of a mother am I?" was all Derek heard coming from the kitchen.

"For crying out loud!"  
>He'd finally had enough. Gathering together what was left of his resolve after half a day out with Sarah he stomped into the kitchen, grabbed her by the arm and yanked her to her feet.<br>"Up. Coat. Out. We're buying presents. Now."

If Sarah hadn't been in such a devastated mood Derek would by now have been supporting a beautiful shiner for his boldness. To his own amazement, though, Sarah never even retorted. She committed herself to be lead to the door, permitted Derek to hold her coat for her while she donned it and trudged down the path after him, her head bowed as if attending a funeral.

"Stop walking behind me like a puppy dog. It reminds me too much of John and his _metal_."

"WHAT!"

Apparently this was enough to bring the old Sarah Connor to, for she shot him an icy glare capable of making even the icicles hanging from the porch shiver which caused him to flinch.

"That's better" he commented nevertheless a little nervous before opening the SUV's door and hopping in. "You're back in the game then, eh?"

The whole car shook violently as Sarah slammed the door behind her. Derek subconsciously glanced around the interior for any signs of damage, making a mental note to show her again sometime how to _close_ a car door.

"What was that about John?" she demanded dangerously, her eyes boring into his.

Literally wilting under her glare, Derek uttered some incomprehensible gibbering from which Sarah was only able to catch the words _machine_ and _John_.

"That's better" Sarah said to the car at large before smirking at Derek.  
>"Two can play at that game, you know."<p>

"Aw, sugar pops."

Derek started the engine and manoeuvred the car out of their drive and onto the road. The streets were still busy. There was even more traffic than earlier on.  
><em>Where the heck can they all be going? I wonder if they've all forgotten to get presents…<em>  
>Derek felt he'd already had his fair share of Christmas shopping but he admitted they did need to get some presents for his nephew. This made him slightly less grumpy until his thoughts centred on a familiar trail.<br>_What about the machine? John'll do his nut if we don't get it anything…_

"Any ideas yet what you're getting John?" he asked Sarah conversationally, hoping she'd remember his earlier question about getting the _metal_ a present and follow up on the idea. Anything, as long as he didn't have to brace the subject again.

"Hmm, I'm not sure. I'm thinking of getting him a good book. He spends far too much time in front of that machine – the computer I mean" Sarah added hastily, as Derek jerked his head in her direction, his eyebrows halfway up his forehead, barely managing to avoid shunting the car in front of them.  
>"He doesn't read anything at all, Derek. Sometimes I wonder how he comes to be as smart as he is."<p>

Derek scoffed. _Hah, smart-alec more like it…_  
>"Well, he had a good teacher, didn't he?"<p>

Now it was Sarah's eyebrows' turn for a quest up her forehead.  
><em>A compliment from Derek? There must be something wrong with him or I'm slipping…<em>  
>Feeling a little flattered, she merely gave him an appreciative sort of grin.<p>

Derek held up a hand in an apologetic gesture.  
>"Yeah, I know I haven't been around for that long, but he's learning. He'll get there, don't you worry" he reassured her.<p>

Sarah's grin instantly faded.  
><em>Now that's more like Derek. I was starting to get worried…<em>

…

It was snowing profusely again as Cameron drove them and their Christmas shopping home. They hadn't spoken since they had left the mall's parking lot. John was munching away at the dried apricots, the presence of which he could not account for, and was lost in his own thoughts which mostly centred on his protector next to him. Cameron also appeared to be strangely preoccupied with something. She hadn't spared him a glance once which was quite unlike her.

Until…

"What do humans treasure most?"

"Eh?" That came a little too sudden for John to catch since he, screwing up the now empty packet that had contained the apricots and still feeling slightly peckish, had just been contemplating about stopping for a bite at that MacDonald's along the way.

Cameron merely repeated herself.  
>"What do humans treasure most?"<p>

"What do you mean?" he asked, not understanding at all what she was on about.

She gave him one of her recently acquired _are you really that slow_ looks and John thought he actually heard a sigh emit from her artificial lungs.  
><em>Hold on, do terminators have lungs?…<em>

Cameron elaborated her question, finally turning her head to look at John with suddenly huge and sad eyes.  
>"I mean between two people, what do they care about? What is the most important thing?"<p>

"Two people? You mean like … in a relationship? When you like someone? I mean, like, _like_ like someone?" he inquired awkwardly before a thought struck him and he added, secretly hoping it was the former but sure it was the latter, "or between friends?"

"Both."

The world around John could have dispersed and left only the interior of the car. He even forgot about MacDonald's, a feat usually not easily accomplished by a teenager. Nothing else mattered anymore, only the cyborg girl next to him, her innocent features, those eyes that seemed to be able to look into his very soul and read him like a book. He felt hot under the collar. All John was able to do for the time being was to sit there and gape at her.

Apparently John had remained in his staring position for some considerable time, him not even having noticed that Cameron had pulled up outside a fast food restaurant and was now just sitting there patiently awaiting his answer.

"John?"

"…Yeah?"

"You haven't answered my question. And you have been staring at me for three minutes and forty—"

"Trust."

Cameron tilted her head.

"The most important thing" John explained to her. "I can't speak for every human being, but for me it's being able to trust people. Others may value bravery, independency, a career; heck, it's even someone's income with some people."  
>He shook his head. "Nope. Trust is the thing that's most important to me. It's like the key to someone's heart, you now?"<br>John twiddled his bottom lip between his fingers while thinking how to put what he was about to say.  
>"I need to be able to fully depend on somebody and have no need to second guess their motives. That's trusting people. And there aren't many people I can trust. Right now I'd say there's only us."<p>

"Us?"

Cameron's head tilted even more to the side resulting in John having to restrain himself from reaching out and pushing it back upright for fear that her neck might snap.

_I'm sure that's not part of her programming. And it's damn cute…_

"Yeah, us" he repeated, twirling his hand in a circular motion. "I mean family. I trust my Mom. I trust Derek" he pointed out.  
>"Even if you don't believe it" he added with a chortle before taking a deep breath and mentally preparing himself to choose his next words with care.<p>

Cameron cut him off abruptly though, before he could continue.

"Thank you for explaining. I know you trust Derek Reese. You always did. Even though he lied to you" she blurted out, averting his gaze.

The trace of bitterness in her tone took John completely by surprise. Turning her back on him she made to open the car door and suddenly felt his hand on her arm gently pulling her back. Her first notion was to follow the suggestion her HUD came up with and shrug it off but then she relented and allowed herself to be eased back into her seat, the strange warm feeling she had experienced earlier flooding through her circuits again.  
><em>There must be something wrong with my receptors. There is no data to account for this sensation. I will have to analyse it later…<em>

"Where are you going?"  
>A puzzled looking John's question brought her out of her internal monologue's ramblings.<p>

Cameron at first also seemed a little perplexed as to her own sudden intentions but she quickly composed herself and informed him "You haven't eaten anything since breakfast. It is necessary that your intake on carbohydrates is on a regular basis to help digestion. Even though fast food is not the best choice I know you will eat it rather than the broccoli pie I was going to get you at the mall."

An even more confused John simply nodded at her before he noticed his mouth was hanging open. Closing it with a _clomp_ he gagged a little at the thought of the broccoli pie she had envisaged and, finding his voice again, he told Cameron how right she was.  
>"How did you guess? It's not that Mom won't have anything ready when we get back, she'll probably have ordered pizza as usual, but it would still be great if we could get something now. I'm famished."<p>

Cameron put her hand on the door handle once more.

"Wait, Cameron."

"Yes?"

"I wasn't finished" John said quietly.

"Do you want something else? We can go to Taco Bell's if you'd prefer" Cameron offered.

"Urgh, no, I'd rather not, actually" John gagged again thinking of those dreadful concoctions.  
><em>I'm sure they put sawdust in them…<em>  
>"I meant about Derek" he explained in almost a whisper. "I trust him even though he keeps things from me. Because I know he won't <em>betray me<em>" he finished with emphasis on the last two words.

"Like I did."

The hurt on her face and the finality in her tone tore at John's heart. He couldn't keep it from her any longer. The truth he had denied himself for so long spilled out of him with sudden unprecedented ease.

"No. I trust you, Cameron. I always have."

There. He'd said it. Out loud. In front of her. And it was wonderful.

As was her response. She seemed at a loss for words. Her bottom lip began to quiver and she consciously had to restrain herself from reaching over and cupping John's face in her hands, the effort involved causing her left hand to twitch again. John was afraid she might actually burst into tears.  
><em>How can a machine be so…human? This can't just be random series of code, she's actually feeling. Learning feelings…<em>

"It's okay, Cameron. I know what you're thinking. You lied to me, too, yet I still trust you. Heck, if only I'd ever given it any thought and not been such a jackass, I'd have told you this a long time ago" John ran the fingers of his left hand through his hair in exasperation, remembering the hurt in her eyes and how he'd chosen to overlook it. He forced himself to calm down uttering a sigh of regret. He had to let her know, he had to tell her now.  
>"You think you betrayed me when you went bad. When you tried to kill me. But that wasn't <em>you<em>, Cameron. That was Skynet. Your chip was damaged. _You_ never betrayed me."

Cameron's eyes brimmed with tears. Tears a terminator should not need to shed. She had no accounting for them. She should not feel the necessity to cry yet here she was. And she was real. And at that moment she was all that mattered in the world to John.  
>Hating seeing her so distressed he had to force himself to carry on with his explanation of what he needed her to know. And stop himself from holding her tight and telling her everything was going to be alright.<p>

"Some time ago you said you lie when the mission requires it. I know that sounds odd, but technically that's not lying. If you have a mission, if future me gave you or programmed you with a mission, whatever, that's just you following his or my orders to protect me. I know that now and I'm sorry, Cameron. I'm sorry for ever doubting you."

In the midst of his last sentence John reached over to Cameron and wiped away a sole tear that had leaked from her eyes and had started to run down her face. Without warning, she leaned over to him and placed another lightning kiss on his cheek, albeit this time a very tear soaked one.

"I trust you too, John."

She treated him to one of her beautifully shy smiles and wiped the few remaining tears that had spilled down her cheeks away with her sleeve. The warm feeling inside her was so intense she had to suppress the urge to laugh and cry at the same time.  
><em>Human emotions are complicated. I'll have to ask John about this sometime…<em>

John gripped the handle and was just about to open his door and get out of the car when he felt slender fingers gently take a hold of his arm and pull him back.

Cameron gazed at him inquiringly, her head slightly tilted.  
>"Do people give each other things to show their trust? Like they give each other presents for Christmas?"<p>

There it was again. That wonderfully innocent naivety. Another one of her many traits John in time had come to adore.

"I'm not sure, maybe a symbol or something. You know, like people in love give each other heart-shaped lockets or cards for Valentine's Day" John pondered, suddenly seeing himself in a vivid image handing Cameron an _I adore thee ever_ Valentine's card and turning slightly red in the process.

"Come on, let's go get some food" he said sheepishly, turning to the door.  
>They got out of the car and headed to the entrance of John's saviour, MacDonald's.<p>

…


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

"And what are _you_ getting John?" Sarah curtly demanded of Derek who was currently wincing from the pain in his right shoulder where she had just punched him.

"Ow. I dunno, Sarah, I really don't" Derek admitted, trying to overcome the numbness in his right arm and flexing his fingers while keeping a firm grip on the steering wheel with his left hand.  
><em>Thank god it's an automatic…<em>  
>All of a sudden, Derek had a brainwave. He smirked to himself and turned to his companion.<br>"Look, why don't you think of something else and I'll get him the book, okay?"

Rendering an already outraged Sarah utterly speechless, Derek ventured further down this dangerous path of his, which also involved him ditching Sarah and returning to their old house on his own. The idea he had come up with would help him escape the quandary of choosing a different present for his nephew, something he was not at all confident in.  
>It's not as if he'd had ample experience in dishing out gifts in the future. Derek was more an expert on blowing up shit and surviving in general, he was a little unfamiliar with all this family stuff.<br>Before Sarah could come down hard on him he elaborated.

"It's just that I'm a little rusty where family gifts are concerned, you know? And after all, you as his mother must know best what he'd like. I mean, who else could I ask, but Sarah Connor? I just wouldn't want John to be disappointed. But if you'd rather I thought up something myself…"

It was very well done. The hesitancy. The careful flattery. It left Sarah a little chuffed. Her outrage died down and gave way to a genuinely bashful looking smile.

"Oh, alright then. You get him the book. I'll just get him something to wear. He's been running around in the same gear for ages. And anyway, I haven't bought him anything nice to wear in donkey's years, that'll make a change."  
><em>That flak jacket I got him was first class though…<em>

Derek looked as if a huge weight had been taken off his shoulders. He let out an audible sigh of relief and grinned at her rather sheepishly.  
>"Thanks Sarah. It means a lot to me."<br>_I just hope she'll understand why…_

Shaking her head and giving him a regal wave, Sarah voiced her curiosity.  
>"So what book did you have in mind?"<p>

"I was thinking about a book called _I, terrorist_ by some loony looking guy with a beard and a tea towel on his head. I forget his name. There're even blueprints for a few fine bombs in there. Great stuff."

A deadly silence filled the car as Sarah seemed to swell. Fists clenched, eyes bulging and a vein on her temple throbbing dangerously she slowly turned in her seat and rounded on Derek. It was like being in class again and having crossed the line of one's least favourite teacher. She spoke in a mere whisper but Derek caught her every word.

"As if my son needs to read about stuff like _that_! What with Judgement Day just around the corner and annihilation looming over his head you want him to read about the religious ranting of some crackpot old fool?"  
>Derek shrank away into his seat as Sarah raised her voice during her last few words to a crescendo not far from roaring at him.<p>

"Whoa, Sarah, I was only joking. Of course not. I'm gonna get him a book on baseball. Me and Kyle used to play, I was thinking perhaps John would like to try."

As always, the mention of Kyle's name stirred something deep inside Sarah, washing away any ill feeling or anger. She eyed Derek suspiciously but she couldn't help thinking it wasn't a bad idea. John had been getting a teensy bit podgy as of late.  
><em>Doing a bit of exercise should do him good. I think I'll ask Cameron if she could come up with a work out routine for John. He's bound to do it with her…<em>  
>As her thoughts centred on the kind of work out routine Cameron might induce on her son she instantly dismissed the idea, slapping herself on the cheek and cussing in the process.<p>

Derek, who had been watching her out of the corner of his eye, was feeling ever so slightly uncomfortable with having to occupy a confined space with her and gulped.

"Um, Sarah, how about stopping for a little something?" he suggested nervously, for she was currently biting herself in the fist.  
>"You haven't eaten anything since breakfast, you know."<p>

Having succeeded in pushing the disturbing images of a seductive cyborg to the back of her mind, Sarah came to the conclusion that Derek was right. She was feeling rather hungry. Pizza seemed like a good idea but then she remembered that they wanted to order some when they got back home with John and … _Cameron_.  
>Sarah silently started to mouth '<em>she's just following her mission, she's just following her mission<em>', her mouth opening and closing in a way which bared a remarkable resemblance to a stranded cod.

After one final twitch, she nodded towards Derek.  
>"Fine. Stop at MacDonald's. I feel like a good old fish burger."<p>

Deeming it wise to swallow his immediately conjured up reply of '_you certainly look like one_', Derek bit his tongue and took a right turning heading for the fast food restaurant of Sarah's choice.

…

The intense heat inside the restaurant hit John in the face as he followed Cameron inside after having held the door for her.  
><em>I'm sure they turn up the heating so you consume more Coke and then fill the cup two thirds with ice so you hardly get any…<em>  
>Cameron was on high alert scanning the interior and positioning herself between John and anybody who happened to be passing them as they approached the counter.<p>

"Hey, calm down. I don't think a Triple Eight's gonna turn up at MacDonald's of all places" John tried to placate her while at the same time trying in vain to suppress a grin on behalf of his amazement over his guardian's never waning vigilance.

"You never know" was Cameron's disconcerting reply.

Sighing, John took her by the arm and led her towards the queues at the counter.  
>"I think I'll have the treble BigMuck with double chips and a large Coke. What about you?" he asked her while awkwardly rummaging through the pockets of his overstuffed coat for his purse.<p>

Cameron tilted her head considering for a moment, then said "Could I have the chocolate MacSaturday please?"

"In the middle of winter?" John exclaimed looking at her in mild astonishment. "Are you sure?"

Cameron nodded vigorously, beaming.  
>"Yes. I like chocolate and I like ice cream."<p>

Her smile suddenly faded. She looked down at her feet, then quirked her head at John and focused him with huge inquiring eyes.  
>"Is that not appropriate in winter? Would I look like a freak?"<p>

"Of course not" John broke into a wide smile, hoping to boost her confidence. "It's just that I'd find it rather too chilly for ice cream myself. But why not. Let's get you some."

They stood in the queue for about five minutes before the fat guy in front of them finally finished ordering and shuffled past them balancing his three trays like a circus act.  
><em>And I sometimes wonder where Derek puts it all…<em>

A young blonde with a bubbly smile greeted John as he stepped up to the counter.  
>"Hi there. I'm Samantha. What can I get you today, then? Something special?" she chirped, fluttering her eyelashes at John.<p>

_Jeez, why do I have to get the one that looks like Riley__?…_  
>"No thanks" John forced out awkwardly, noticing that Cameron behind him had her scary robot face firmly in place and was staring at the girl as if contemplating if the time of year were appropriate to terminate her there and then.<p>

"Just a treble BigMuck with double chips and a large Coke and one chocolate MacSaturday" John summed up his order wondering if he should change the Coke for Diet Coke.  
><em>Nah. Mom's not around, she won't find out…<em>

Samantha was dashing to and fro between John's tray and various stainless steel appliances until the tray was nearly full, albeit to the greater extent with non-food stuff such as wrapping. She turned to the other employees behind the racks bordering off the serving area from the place where the burgers were compiled and hollered "One treble BigMuck, please."  
>"Coming up, Sam" a spotty weed with greasy hair shouted back at her before placing the requested item onto one of the slides on the rack. John hoped against hope he wasn't the guy who had made his burger. Samantha took it and placed it on the tray.<p>

"Would you like anything else?" she beamed at him.

"No thanks. We're done."

John was amazed at the speed at which she keyed in all the items into the till. When she had finished, Samantha looked up at John, batted her eyelids again and said with a sultry smile "That'll be $ 13.65 please."

John was in two minds to give the girl the exact change because of Cameron's obvious displeasure at his nutrimental intercourse with her. But on the other hand, Samantha had done him no harm and being sought after by the opposite sex does tend to perk up a young man's ego, so he opened his purse, took out two bills and handed them to her.  
>"Here, keep the change."<p>

"Thank _you_" Samantha chirped as John bad her Goodbye. He picked up the tray and headed off to the tables, expecting Cameron to follow him.

"Hello. What can I get you?" Samantha asked Cameron who was still staring at her, her left hand twitching.

"My boyfriend has already got mine" Cameron stated icily. She turned on her heels and strode off making a beeline for John who, suddenly noticing she wasn't with him, had stopped a few feet away and turned around to see where she had got to.

Walking right up to him until they were almost touching, Cameron stood next to him so they were both in full view of the counter and placed her right hand briefly on the back of John's neck, guiding his head towards her.  
>"Thank you for the ice" she breathed into his ear, satisfied at the girl behind the counter's now crestfallen expression before turning and walking purposefully in the general direction of the tables.<p>

Shaking his head and wondering what this was all about, a baffled John followed Cameron to the table she was now already sitting at. It was of course in full view and within easy reach of the exit and – _of course_ – conveniently placed so she would notice if John's eyes were to wander back to the counter for obvious reasons.

Which they didn't. At first, John was totally focused on devouring his nosh in a record time capable of beating even Derek. Then, having finished and suppressing a belch, he became completely absorbed in Cameron eating her oversized ice with the abundance of chocolate sauce Samantha had treated him to.

_She really seems to be enjoying it…_

Cameron was daintily stirring the slowly melting ice into the sauce and licking the spoon perfectly clean before continuing on her quest of trying to obtain an equal amount of ice and chocolate on each spoonful she ate.

"You liked that, didn't you?" John observed as soon as she had finished. She was looking into the now empty cup with a remotely disappointed expression.

Cameron lifted her head to find John smiling at her. A warm smile in which she could detect no traces of insincerity.  
><em>It pleases him to get me something I like…<em>

"Yes. Chocolate is one of my favourite foods. Even though I do not need to eat I would consider the taste as … pleasurable."  
>She hoped this was the correct expression to describe the sensations the chocolate provided her with. A feeling of warmth and contentment.<br>_Like when I'm near John…_

John pushed his chair back and got to his feet, a mischievous grin playing around his lips.  
>"You know what? You've made me want one of those ices now. Perhaps you would like a second one as well?" he performed a small bow to her.<p>

Cameron considered the benefits of consuming another MacSaturday. It took her a split nanosecond to reach a decision.  
>"Yes. I would."<p>

Chuckling to himself, John left their table and started walking towards the counter when he stopped and called back to her.  
>"Same again? Chocolate?"<p>

"Yes, please. Thank you, John."

"You're welcome. Chocolate it is" he laughed and continued to the counter.

There was quite a queue by now and John had to wait about ten minutes until there was only one woman and her overweight child left in front of him before it would be his turn to be served. Eventually the woman turned and passed him carrying a tray laden with so much grub even Derek would have had a hard time finishing. Her chubby son puffed along behind her, greed in his eyes.  
>Just as John was about to place his order with Samantha – <em>why do I always end up with her<em> – a burly bloke in a black leather biker's jacket pushed his way to the front of the queue and shoved John aside.

"Beat it, Sonny. My turn" he growled, undermining his request with a scowl that showed people this guy meant business.

John chose to ignore the yob like some creepy crawly that would probably scuttle away anyway. Which, unfortunately, he didn't.

"Wise guy, eh?"

With a mirthless grunt of laughter the man reached out for John's arm with the intention of hurling him down the slowly dissipating aisle of waiting people. Just as his ape-like hand was about to make contact, a tiny female one shot out from nowhere, took hold of it in a vice like grip and jerked it backwards causing an ugly sounding crack from somewhere within the joint. The bloke screamed in agony, holding his broken wrist with his remaining functional hand before he turned and staggered off towards the exit, groaning and cursing.

Cameron turned to an awestruck Samantha whose mouth was agape.  
>"Two chocolate MacSaturdays, please."<p>

While Cameron was patiently awaiting their ices, John told the few remaining customers who hadn't discreetly sidled towards the exit "Martial arts, you know. She's quite good at them."  
>Secretly admiring his protector's speed and making a mental note not to forget to thank her this time, he hoped that their cover would not one day be blown by these displays of super-human strength.<br>_Thank god there are no coppers around…_

Samantha stole a few furtive and unbelieving glances from the safety of the ice vending machine at the angelic form of the petite girl who had just effortlessly disabled a hulking great oaf. She then topped up the two ices with chocolate goo and placed them on the tray in front of Cameron.

Wondering why the blonde girl had given her much smaller portions with considerably less sauce than John had received earlier, Cameron paid, picked up the tray and headed for the all of a sudden mostly vacant tables, John at her heels.

…

_They must be eating in shifts in there,_ Derek thought shaking his head at the considerable amount of cars hastily leaving the MacDonald's parking lot at the same time.

"That's a stroke of luck" he said, backing the car into one of the empty spaces right outside the entrance to the restaurant and en route to the exit from the parking lot.  
>"Perfect for a quick getaway."<p>

Sarah scoffed at his remark "What, you think a Triple Eight's gonna turn up here or something?"

Watching a dangerous looking man stagger out of the restaurant clutching his right arm and grimacing in pain, Derek murmured thoughtfully "You never know…"

They disembarked and walked through the now snow-turned-to-sleet towards the entrance.  
>The sky was getting brighter, the snow storm was over. Sarah noticed that there weren't as many cars in the parking lot as there should have been, given the time of day.<br>_I suppose the other people are all going home to their families now for Christmas Eve…_

"Let's have them wrap it up and we'll eat in the car on the way to the mall. I'd like us to be home again soon" she announced, thinking of her son who was probably just on his way back to a cold, dark house devoid of Christmas spirit.  
><em>Mustn't forget the mistletoe…<em>

"All the same to me, as long as I get me double cheeseburgers" Derek shrugged, opening the glass door for Sarah and walking inside behind her.

Surprised at how empty the place was, they briefly stopped at the colourfully illuminated menu displays on the walls of the entrée to see if there were any take away offers.  
>The children's menu was being advertised with small plastic <em>Star Bores<em> figures as concealed give-aways whose identities were only to be revealed after purchase. The inevitable _collect them aaall_ phrase headed a gallery showing all available figures, all but one of which would actually have been produced so that the small collectors would be condemned to eat _HappyMuck_ meals for the rest of their lives.

"They never seem to go out of fashion, eh?" Derek noted, indicating the figures.

Sarah quirked an eyebrow at him.  
>"How do you know <em>Star Bores<em>? That was way before your time" she observed, doing the maths.

"I saw all the episodes. I even had a little collection of figures and vehicles myself. Kyle once played at blowing up the Emperor's shuttle with my stuff when he was little. He broke them. I was mad at him for weeks" he reminisced, a far away look forming on his rough features.  
>"Don't forget I was actually a lad in 2008, Sarah. And funnily enough, here we are surrounded by <em>Star Bores<em> merchandise. We didn't all just sit in front of computers, you know" he chuckled.

Imagining a teenage Derek and a small Kyle playing at interstellar warfare subconsciously brought a smile to Sarah's face which was quickly wiped off as her thoughts wandered to her son. _I wonder if John's ever heard of Star Bores…_

"Well, I'm sticking to the fish burger" she announced. "What about you? Are you gonna go for a _HappyMuck_ meal for old time's sake?"

Derek shook his head in disgust.  
>"Nah. I don't fancy getting caught. I like the majority of my dinner to consist of food, not of wrappings" he informed her. "It's the double cheeseburgers for me."<p>

"Quite understandable" Sarah nodded her approval. "I'm off to the ladies. Can you get my burger as well and take everything to the car? We'll meet there" she said and wandered off to the rear of the building in search of the lavatories.

"Okay. And I'll be keeping those pizzas in mind by the way" he called after her, fumbling for his purse before turning and heading for the counter.

Just then he noticed two familiar figures making their way from the counter towards the tables.

"BLEEDIN' 'ELL, WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOIN' 'ERE?"

The sudden roar made even Cameron jump. She only just managed to keep her tray balanced and was equally close to hurling the ices at the supposed threat. _Close_ referring from her point of view. To John, Cameron had remained as stoic as ever while he had jumped six feet into the air and was currently breathing heavily, clutching at his chest.

"For Chrissake, Derek, you couldn't be more inconspicuous!" John exclaimed accusingly, trying hard to calm down and make his heart rate return to a more docile speed as the three of them walked over to a nearby table and sat down.

"What's with the ices?" Derek inquired, noticing that there were two on the tray.

"Well, what do you think?" John replied in exasperation. "We were just going to tuck in before you scared the hell out of me."

Derek looked shocked and disgusted.  
>"Tuck in? <em>We<em>?" he repeated. "You don't mean to say that _she_ was going to eat that."

"This is my second _MacSaturday_. I'm rather fond of them" Cameron stated, causing Derek's jaw to drop and John to suppress a grin.

She took one of the cups and started to perform the same routine as before, genuinely savouring each spoonful of perfectly measured ice and chocolate sauce. Derek watched in awe and John in fascination.

"I'm not going to ask where that is going in the end" Derek indicated between the ice and her body in general, looking at John with a pained expression. "I don't think I wanna know…"

Cameron tilted her head first at Derek, then at the other ice, and then at John.

"Your ice is starting to melt. If you don't eat it within four minutes and 37 seconds it will have turned to slush" Cameron informed him.

"Ugh. I think I've gone off it. I'm still shaking like a leaf. You have it" John offered her, while still glaring at his uncle.  
><em>They all know I scare easily and they keep on doing it…<em>

"Aw, Rookie" Derek said with mock sympathy. He then added "I don't mind if I do", grabbed John's now semifreddo ice and started shovelling it in, leaving a speechless John and a deprived-of-a-third-ice Cameron to watch him.

"Mmmh, not bad at all" he commented after finishing the lot in three spoonfuls.  
>"I understand <em>her<em> liking them now" he gestured at Cameron who was again totally enchanted by her choc mixing and was licking her eating iron after each spoonful almost reverently.  
>"I still don't <em>understand<em> _her_ eating them though" Derek said to the table at large wiping his mouth on a paper serviette. "Wonder what Sarah would think about—"

He broke off turning pale and jumped up looking horror-stricken.  
>"Oh Christ. Sarah. She must be in the car by now. I forgot about her!"<br>And with one last terrified look at John and Cameron, Derek hurried off to the counter to place his order.

…

People do seem to be able to work faster under imminent threat of violence. That went for Derek himself as well as for the poor guy behind the counter he was currently terrorising.  
>"Hurry up for Chrissake, it'll be worse if she turns up" he shouted at the man who was doing his best to set up a new record in packing hamburgers.<p>

"In fact, I was just going to ask him where Mom is" John told Cameron with a frown as they both watched Derek sprint past them clutching two take away bags.  
>"Are you finished, Cameron? Shall we go, then?"<p>

"Yes. Thank you for the ice, John."

They dumped their empty cups on the tray, got up and headed for the exit through which Derek had raced a few seconds earlier. Fortunately, the sleet had ceased and the sun had come out, its rays reflecting off the white streets and roofs, bathing the world in a dazzling glare.  
><em>Perfect for our snowball fight<em>, John reminded himself as they stepped out onto the parking lot. He decided that he would launch a surprise attack on Cameron in their garden when they got home.  
><em>I wonder where Mom and Derek have parked…<em>  
>He didn't get to think any further.<p>

"That's the bitch over there!"

The guy with the broken wrist had obviously organized some of his cronies to sort out Sonny-Jim and his martial-arts girl.  
>Six thugs slowly approached John and Cameron, surrounding them. One of them, built like a wrestler, was threateningly tapping a base ball bat in his hand, while another, scrawny and rat-faced, was flailing a long metal chain.<p>

"Not so tough now, are yer, girlie?" the one with the bat sneered, grinning stupidly and advancing on Cameron.

Not even consciously aware he was doing it, John stepped in front of her.  
>"You dare touch her."<p>

Taken by complete surprise, Cameron momentarily froze before she side-stepped John and took the ferocious blow meant for John's head in the nick of time. The force of the guy's swipe against Cameron's outstretched arm jarred the bat as if he had struck a solid wall. He roared in pain and dropped his weapon, clutching his shoulder.  
>Unfortunately, Cameron did not notice the scrawny guy's chain suddenly lash out from behind and wrap around her legs. He gave it a sharp tug which caught her off balance and she fell to the ground with a thud, slushy snow spraying out from under her.<p>

One of the remaining yobs, an older guy with a shaven head, his muscles gradually turning to flab, but nevertheless still of imposing build, immediately picked up the bat and took a tremendous swipe at the momentarily immobilised girl lying at his feet. The wood splintered as the bat made contact with the left side of Cameron's head, tearing away a few inches of skin and flesh above her eyebrow and partly revealing her endoskeleton.  
>Staring at his splintered bat in disbelief, the guy was too dumbfounded to notice the metal shining through, gleaming in the sunlight.<p>

John had noticed though.  
><em>Nobody hurts my Cameron…<em>

All rational thought abandoned, he launched himself at the man, bellowing like a wounded rhinoceros. John's momentum and the man's preoccupation catching him off guard resulted in the seventeen-year-old and the thug who was as wide as John was tall to crash into the side of a parked car, the man's elbow shattering its wing mirror.

"GET THE FUCK OFF MY CAR!"

Before the man knew what was happening, the roaring resistance soldier from the future was upon him. In blind fury, Derek grabbed him by the shoulders, brought his head down into the man's face with an ear-splitting crunch as he nutted him into oblivion. The man sank to the ground where he lay moaning, the snow turning bright red around his face. A kick to the temple for good measure rendered him unconscious.

With a manic expression Derek turned around after having briefly ascertained the damage to his SUV, ready for the next member of the heavy mob.  
>"Right. Oo's next for a caved in skull?"<p>

There seemed to be no _next_, for unbeknownst to anyone, Sarah had casually strolled up behind two of the thugs who had been watching on as Cameron was being brought to a fall. She efficiently sent them to dreamland with two well placed strikes to the back of their heads with the butt of her gun and the spare pistol's that was kept in the SUV's glove compartment, just in case.

The two remaining men, a very young, thin looking bloke whose flapping leather jacket was obviously a few sizes too big for him, and the would-be wrestler with the throbbing shoulder were in two minds if to stay or run.

John meanwhile had picked himself up rather groggily from his position on the ground to where he had slid after the collision with Derek's car. He was just about managing to compose himself while brushing the slush off his trousers when he remembered with dread that Cameron must still be chained up. While Derek was dealing with the guy he had tackled, and his mother was occupying herself with the other two, John anxiously surveyed the parking lot for Cameron. Having sighted her, he watched in dismay as he saw her lying in the snow still bound, while the scrawny guy aimed kick after kick at her temple with his reinforced bovver boots and a contented sneer.  
>Cursing his dizziness, John staggered over to help her. He was just in time to witness Cameron finally managing to sit up and rip the chains off her legs as if they were made of twine. She slowly got to her feet and caught a shocked scrawny guy across the back of his head with one length of chain she had kept hold of. The man slumped to the ground before her and stirred no more.<p>

As John arrived at her side she lightly brushed his face with her hand, inquired if he was alright and, after having received a nod from a concerned and shell-shocked looking John, made a beeline for the two remaining guys, purposefully striding in perfectly measured steps without haste, yet with grim determination.

Cameron must have had her best scary robot face in place. Or may have looked seriously pissed off. Or both. For the two still contemplating yobs turned to look at each other in horror for a split second at seeing this clearly invincible young girl heading straight for them, before they broke into a run at breakneck speed across the parking lot and down the road out of sight.

With the heavy mob immobilised or having deserted, this left only broken-wrist-vendetta, who had been egging on his comrades from the safety of his motorbike and was now turning all shades of green as the members of the Connor clan half leisurely, half relentlessly advanced on him.

Derek was whistling, his hands in his pockets, in no need of his gun.  
>John was still wearing a concerned expression, eying Cameron.<br>Cameron looked well and truly murderous.  
>And Sarah looked as if she were to skin him alive.<p>

"So."

Pure venom was in her voice as Sarah grabbed the man and yanked him off his motorbike.  
>"You wanted to hurt my son then, did you?" she hissed like an angry serpent ready to strike.<p>

Holding him at arm's length she slapped him around the face and spat "You and your little friends wanted to look tough at his expense then, did you?"

"Please, lady" the man croaked, kneeling in front of her. He gestured towards his broken wrist, then towards Cameron.  
>"She…" he broke off sobbing as Cameron glared daggers at him.<p>

"Oh she did, did she?" Sarah exclaimed conversationally before she brought her face up to within an inch of the bloke's.  
>"Well, you can be glad it was only her, then" she added in a mere whisper. A whisper which contained such foreboding it literally brought tears to the eyes of the formerly tough guy.<p>

Abruptly taking hold of his uninjured arm in both her hands with a speed that made Cameron blink, Sarah brought the guy's arm down in a jerk and at the same time her knee up against his elbow. The snap and his scream echoed over the parking lot before it was muffled by the snow.  
>"<em>Now<em> you've got something to cry about."  
>She let go of him and dropped him to the ground where he sat whimpering. Disdainfully turning her back on a matter dealt with, Sarah strode over to the SUV, climbed in to the passenger's seat and slammed the door hard behind her. Derek winced.<p>

…


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Ten minutes later they were speeding towards home in the SUV, the Jeep's number plates for once not being stolen ones and as a result traceable, should anybody have thought to take a note of their number after their display at the parking lot. Not that they thought that anyone would. After all, slight disagreements are common practise in larger cities and go blissfully unnoticed.

"We'll collect the Jeep on the way back" Sarah informed them, while Derek was still muttering to himself.  
><em>Stupid bastards. They can be glad it's Christmas or I'd have duffed 'em up properly…<em>

His mother's words didn't quite register with John, him being a little preoccupied with Cameron who had been acting rather strangely since they had gotten in the car.  
>Firstly, she had grabbed one of the yobs' dark glasses and was wearing them, looking utterly ridiculous and trying her best to keep as far away from John as possible. Secondly, she had taken off her jacket and placed it under herself on the back seat so as not to contaminate the upholstery – to the admiring gaze of Derek in the rear mirror.<p>

"What was that, Mom?" he asked, reluctantly forcing his attention off of Cameron.

"I said we'll get the Jeep later. We can't afford to have the cops onto us" Sarah told him with a tut, noticing the way her son seemed raptured by the cyborg again.  
>"If you could tear yourself away you would have heard" she added irritably.<p>

"She's injured, Mom, if you haven't noticed" John said aggressively.

"So I see. And how this _injury_ came to pass in the first place will be something we will talk about when Derek and I get back" Sarah warned, turning in her seat and instantly deflating her son.

Sighing in defeat, John was just about to ask Cameron why she was wearing those daft glasses when his mother's words replayed in his mind.

"Get back? From where? I thought we were going home" he called to Sarah who had turned round again and was holding Derek his chips while he crammed some into his mouth between swearing at other drivers and doing his best not to skid on the slushy road.

Sarah hesitated. For the life of her she couldn't think of an excuse which would seem plausible enough to allow for her and Derek to leave again.  
>Just as she was about to confess to her son there was a sound from the driver's seat.<p>

"_Mmf_con."

"What?" Sarah and John cried in unison, staring at Derek.

After a hic and a measured burp Derek repeated himself.  
>"Recon. Your mother and I need to do some recon."<p>

John gave him a disbelieving look.  
>"Recon? Today? What's it about?"<p>

"Overheard some guys talking in a pub last night. Could be Gray" Derek told him, deciding he may as well make the story up as he went along now he had started on it.

Admitting to himself that Derek did spend some time away from the house at nights now and then, even though he couldn't remember if he had gone out last night, John made up his mind that he might as well help with the research when they got home.  
>"Alright. I'll check him out on the net. What's his name, then?"<p>

Sarah gulped and Derek blinked, thinking fast.  
>"Err… Calrissian."<p>

Sarah had to stifle a laugh as she remembered the give-away figures gallery at MacDonald's.  
>Obviously Derek had also recalled it or he'd thought of his own collection he'd had as a boy.<p>

"Another Armenian bastard" John said darkly, his gaze automatically shifting to Cameron.

"Eh?"

Sarah and Derek both turned to look at him, causing the car to swerve and Derek to shout and gesticulate rudely at the driver next to them who had just managed to brake in time and hooted.

Noticing his mother's and uncle's blank expressions of complete incomprehension, John decided to jog their memories.

"Calrissian. That's an Armenian name" he simply said.

Sarah was still rather lost. Derek looked at her blankly for support.  
>"So?" she inquired frowning and shaking her head a little.<p>

"Remember the explosion, Mom? The one that nearly…" he broke off glancing over at Cameron who still had neither moved nor spoken and was sitting quite like a statue.  
>Sighing, John continued, choosing his words with care so as not to upset Cameron even more.<br>_She must be upset about something. Probably because I wasn't fast enough to help her…_

"Remember our old Jeep, Mom? The guy who blew it up? His name was Sarkissian. That's Armenian, too."  
>John paused a little before adding quietly and with a hint of malice "Wonder if this guy's neck would also snap that easily…"<p>

Comprehension dawning, Sarah nodded. Derek frowned at her.  
>"Eh? I thought you'd shot that guy. How…"<p>

She cut him off before he made her dig down into the subject any further.  
>"He's dealt with, Derek" she said with finality in her tone and a jerk of her head towards John and the machine that told Derek to let it ride. He thought Sarah was trying to convey to him that she didn't want John reliving the day the machine he seemed to care so much about had nearly succeeded in killing him. Derek didn't know the full story about what had happened in their old house that day and nor did he need to. And her son need not be reminded of that hateful day again. Not today of all days.<p>

Derek shrugged, nodding his assent.

"Yeah. He's dealt with" John contributed from the rear of the car with a heretofore unheard of hint of vengeance in his voice, as he set his eyes on Cameron again.  
>Sarah gulped.<p>

"Err, Sarah?" Derek suddenly asked out of the blue.  
>"How come you snuck up on those mugs back there? I thought you said you'd wait in the car. Cos you weren't in it when I came out and I'd been walking around looking for you for ten minutes before John and that geezer decided to wreck it."<br>He was a little puzzled about her thankful smile at the change of subject when he had actually expected to be reprimanded and get a fish burger chucked at him for having forgotten about her.

Not really knowing what Derek was on about, Sarah frowned at him.  
>"I told you I was going to the ladies."<p>

Derek's eyebrows shot up his head.  
>"Yeah, but that was over twenty minutes ago. It couldn't have taken you that long!"<p>

Sarah merely ignored him leaving Derek to ponder over the intricacies of female toilet rituals.  
><em>I wonder if they queue up in there or something…<em>

Shaking his head and recalling the big unsolved mystery about why the girls of his schooldays always used to go to the loo in packs, Derek was about to turn his complete attention back to the traffic lights they had stopped at when he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. Sarah had opened the glove compartment and was placing the spare gun back inside after having automatically checked it.

"Hey. That reminds me. How come you had the spare on you as well?" Derek frowned at her. He distinctly remembered having replaced the gun back inside the car himself after the extensive hoovering and polishing he had treated his SUV's interior to last night.  
><em>That pub excuse wasn't such a bad idea after all…<em>

Sarah regarded him with an _are you being serious_ expression.  
>"I took it out before we went in, of course. This isn't a safe neighbourhood, I kind of like that gun and I didn't want it getting stolen."<p>

"Err … yeah" a rather speechless Derek managed to utter.

After blankly staring through the windscreen for some time and missing two green lights Derek decided to concentrate on getting them home as soon as possible so he and Sarah could get on with what they still had to do. Which involved getting a new wing mirror for his SUV. And presents. But first things first.

Before the lights turned green again and they finally sped off, he chanced a quick look in the rear view mirror at his nephew and the machine.  
><em>Wonder what's with the stupid glasses? Oh well, at least they make an improvement and hide its face…<em>

Cameron and her glasses were also the prevailing focus of John's attention.  
>The way she just sat there, stock still and not saying a word. It was as if she were trying to hide behind them, John maintained. But for the life of him he couldn't figure out why.<br>Her wound was not that bad, after all. It wouldn't blow their cover. And it couldn't be because of Sarah and her aversion against _metal_. His mother had seen it all before just like John had and must know they would manage to patch her up again. As for Derek, John knew his uncle couldn't care less if half her face had come off. And anyway, Derek had seen more metal than the three of them put together.

After another ten minutes of driving in oppressive silence John could no longer stand it.  
>"What's wrong, Cameron?"<p>

She hadn't heard him or she was cocking a deaf one. Either way, it troubled him greatly to see her acting so strangely and, quite unlike her, totally ignoring him. Just like he had been doing for the past months, always noticing the hurt in her eyes but forcing himself to overlook it and not to care.  
><em>Hope she's not paying me back. Because I'd deserve it…<em>

"Nothing got … well, broken back there, did it?"

Still no answer.

"Did I do something wrong?"

Derek snorted derisively.  
>"You what? As if she'd give a damn what you do. Probably a wire knocked loose or a fuse blown or something. You never know with those things."<br>He sniggered to himself before fixing John with a serious expression in the mirror.  
>"You'd better hope she doesn't go berserk again or Sarah will get to use that thermite she's been…"<p>

"Derek" Sarah warned, instantly causing him to shut up.

She had been aware of her son's concern for the cyborg for a long time now. It had shown in the way he looked at the machine and it had been even more pronounced today since Cameron had been injured. Or _damaged_, as Sarah preferred to call it.  
>Apart from her son's, she had also been observing Cameron's behaviour ever since they had gotten in the car. To her, the cyborg seemed … <em>troubled<em>. And John seemed to be slipping all the more into a feeling of despair.  
>Sarah turned to face her son with what she hoped was a reassuring smile. Deep down though she was not at all pleased about what she was about to say, as it involved leaving John to get closer to her arch enemy again. Closer than he already seemed to be.<p>

"We'll be home in a minute, John. Derek and I will leave straight away and collect the Jeep on the way back. You can patch up tin miss in the meantime and find out what's wrong with her" she said with a sigh, silently berating herself for even considering the machine. And all the more so for what she had to tell her son.  
><em>Derek's gonna kill me for this…<em>  
>"She's not broken, John. Talk to her and you'll see."<p>

John regarded her just as incredulously as Derek did. He could have sworn he saw Cameron shift slightly in her seat. Fighting the sudden urge to give her knee a squeeze and tell her that everything was going to be fine, John merely settled for lightly brushing against her arm and offering her a very insecure smile. He was sure she was looking at him in the same kind of way from behind her glasses.

Derek slammed on the brakes outside their house. He was in a sombre sort of mood ever since Sarah had, in his opinion, sided with the cyborg, which was something that was not to be forgiven.

"We'll order pizza when we get back" Sarah told John and Cameron as they got out of the car.

"Okay Mom. Don't forget to bring that turkey that's still in the boot of the Jeep" John grinned at her, before adding in an afterthought "And don't you dare look in my rucksack!"

The SUV sped off leaving John and Cameron standing rather awkwardly together outside the gate. He held it open and gestured for her to go through.

"Thank you, John" she said in a mere whisper.

The constricted sound of her voice unnerved him as she passed him and walked up the garden path without another word. She reached the front door, took out her key and unlocked it before stepping inside. Feeling a little forlorn, John entered after her and shut the door, locking it twice and setting the alarm.  
><em>We must be the only family that sets the alarm when they come home…<em>  
>Turning round, he found that Cameron had already climbed the stairs and was probably heading for her room.<p>

"Cameron, wait!" he called out to her, racing up the stairs two at a time. He reached the end of the flight just in time to see the door to her room slowly close with a click.

His stomach was churning with trepidation as he stood outside her room and stared at the white polished surface of the closed door for what seemed like ages. His mother had said '_talk to her_'; well he was trying, wasn't he?  
>Reaching for the door knob John thought better of it, withdrew his hand and knocked.<p>

No answer.

He knocked again. "Cameron, can I come in? I need to tell you something."  
><em>I know I wasn't fast enough and let you get hurt…<em>

…

She pushed the door to quietly with a click before walking over to her bed, the one she never used, and sat down on it looking at the closed door.

Expectantly…

Apprehensively…

_He won't want to have anything to do with me now. I wasn't fast enough. He could have been hurt…_

A single tear trickled down her cheek, which she could not account for. The warm feeling inside her had been replaced by a burning cold, as if her power source were leaking radiation, yet there was no data indicating there was anything amiss. All her systems were operating at a hundred percent.

_What is happening to me…_

There was a knock on the door.

Silence.

Another knock and the muffled sound of John's voice.

_I am an inefficient protector. Why would he want to tell me anything…_

"Come in" she said in a tiny voice as she turned to face the window.

…

Very slowly, the gap gradually growing wider, John opened the door to Cameron's room and stepped over the threshold. Sunlight was flooding in through the windows, bathing the interior in bright light and setting Cameron's outline into sharp relief as she sat perched on the very edge of her bed with her back to the door, apparently looking out of one of the windows.  
>John squinted at her, the glare blinding him. He noticed for the first time how shiny her hair was, with the sunlight reflecting off of it, like off the ripples on a lake. Sparkling. Beautiful.<br>She was still wearing those ludicrous glasses as John walked over to the bed. He carefully sat down on it right behind her, trying hard not to cause it to squeak in protest at the additional weight. Any sound would have somehow disturbed something right now.

It was a completely new situation for John and he didn't know how to handle it.  
>Going through the emotional chitchat with a girl, or in this case a cyborg girl, was something he was not prepared for. John hadn't had too much experience with girls in general, him usually having been regarded as the new weird kid at school and mostly shunned.<br>He was used to having no friends. Well, not for long anyway. He and his mother had frequently moved to a different town and thus different school every few months. Maintaining friendships was not easily accomplished this way.

Or his friends had died. Like Uncle Bob. Like Charley. Like the wayward girl Riley.

John's brief and rather ill-fated relationship with Riley had differed from the archetypal teenage relationship. She had been fun to hang around with, there had been none of the usual girlie nonsense with her, no sulking or teasing. Thinking back now, John had seen Riley more as a friend than a girlfriend. They hadn't done any of the things couples or would-be couples usually got up to, they hadn't even gone on a real date, as a matter of speaking.  
>John still felt awfully sorry for Riley, but he didn't miss her in the sense of still having feelings for her. That had all been over long ago. If it had ever been real, that is.<p>

Instead, John was feeling something entirely real at the moment. He was feeling nervous, terribly, toe-on-ground scuffing nervous. '_Talk to her_' his mother had said…  
><em>Thanks Mom. Easier said than done…<em>

John could see she was still upset. And usually he somehow always seemed to be able to fathom out why. This time however, he was well and truly stumped.

"Feel okay?" he asked in a would-be cheerful voice with a put on smile and rather goofy looking happy expression, trying desperately to overcome his insecurity.

No answer.

He turned his head to look at her. She hadn't moved. She was still sitting with her back to him gazing out of the window, as if she were scanning the perimeter for threats as she was wont to. John knew she wasn't. You couldn't even see the garden fence from this angle. So either terminators possessed a kind of x-ray vision or Cameron was brooding.

_She's hurting inside…_

"I'm sorry, Cameron" John said quietly, facing the door again.

Hardly visible to the human eye, she stirred.

"I know I let you down" he continued, his voice low and hoarse with regret.  
>"You got hurt … again … because of me."<p>

Cameron shifted slightly.

"I was too slow. I'm sorry, Cameron. I'm so sorry" his voice broke, a lump rising in his throat.

She turned around to sit on top of the bed with her arms around her knees and focussed her gaze on his back, her head tilted slightly.

"No John. I failed to protect you. You could have been hurt. I am inefficient."

John hadn't expected that. He was counting on being reprimanded or at least sulked at.  
>He turned and shifted himself so that he too was now sitting on top of the bed facing her.<p>

"What do you mean? You sorted out those guys pretty well. If it hadn't have been for you I would have got my face smashed in. You helped me … you saved me again … and I was too slow to help you" he brought his fist down hard on the mattress, his stomach constricting in desperation.  
>"And would you please take those glasses off?"<p>

"I don't want you to see me like this" she said in a tiny voice.

John was confused. Did she mean her, well, _emotional_ state or was it the injury she had sustained? It couldn't be the latter. John had seen her get hurt on countless occasions. He had treated her wounds himself, pulled out bullets lodged in her artificial flesh and stitched her up. He had become quite adept at it, but it still hurt him every time he had to do it.  
>So he supposed it was the former. He knew he had to tread very carefully. He wanted her to know he cared for her and her feelings, and he desperately wanted her to trust him.<p>

_Things have changed, John. You can't be trusted anymore…_  
>He remembered what she had said to him the day after the explosion. That had hurt. More than anything else.<p>

"See you like what, Cameron?" he inquired softly. "Because I won't mind. And if there's anything you need to tell me, anything at all, you can. You know I believe in you."  
>He looked at her intensely for a moment hoping to convey his meaning to her before adding<br>"You can talk to me, Cameron. That's what we do in the future, isn't it?"

She seemed to relax slightly, her lips quirked hardly noticeable before she spoke with a slight tremor in her voice.  
>"Yes. We do. We did."<p>

"And we will!" John promised her, putting all the emphasis he could into his words.  
>"There's no future but what we make for ourselves. I know that now. And I know I'm not the John Connor you knew and I probably never will be. I'm the John Connor who lives <em>here<em>, right now."

He watched as Cameron reached up to her face and slowly removed her glasses with the tiniest of smiles, revealing eyes brimming with tears.  
>She saw the concern in John's face; she almost physically felt the distress he was obviously in because of her. And she was not about to cause him any pain whatsoever. Ever again.<p>

"You are different than the John Connor from my future" Cameron began, studying his face with that scrutinizing habit she had, the one he liked so much, the one that made him feel … at ease.  
>"You are not yet like the General I knew. You lack his capabilities of leadership and decision making. You also lack his resilience" she added, thinking of how this John always seemed to be hurting himself.<br>"And you do not as yet have the experience you need to be able to fight _us_. Metal. Terminators" she informed him, forcing her blank terminator expression back onto her face.

Choosing to overlook John's mouth hanging wide open in indignation, she went on.  
>"You do stupid things, John. Like what you did back there at the parking lot. You must not risk yourself for anybody, at least of all me. You're too important."<p>

John's eyebrows shot up his forehead, he had heard something like this before.  
><em>Christ, she's starting to sound like my mother…<em>

"You nearly got hurt, John, because _I_ was too slow. That must never happen again." Cameron paused for a while just studying him blankly before her expression changed to one of remorse and she continued in a wistful tone "I can't let anything happen to you."

She reached out as if to cup his face in her hands but stopped halfway and placed one hand over her lacerated eyebrow.  
>"And like I told you, I don't want you to see me like this."<p>

_So it was both…_  
>Defying her close to scolding tone and fed up with her attitude towards him for not being like his future self he chose that moment to spill everything that was pent up inside him about the General Connor she and Derek so revelled in.<p>

"So what if I am different than _your_ John" he spat, anger welling up inside him.  
>"I won't let anybody hurt you, I just won't, okay? I don't think much of being a leader without having any feelings for the people I lead. And for the people I care about. That's not the kind of hero I tend to become, Cameron, if at all. All I know is that <em>I<em> would never have sent you away from myself. _He_ did though, and I've been asking myself why since the day we met."

Cameron was taken aback by his sudden outburst. She hadn't expected this at all, for him to open up in front of her like that.  
>She knew he was right, though. He <em>was<em> different. The John she knew would never have told her outright that he actually cared for her. He may have confided in her, trusted her and talked to her about his past to ease his loneliness, but deep down she knew he had hated _metal_, just like Derek Reese. She supposed he'd only treated her differently because she outwardly resembled Alison, the girl he had rescued from the tunnels and cared for. She did not believe he had seen something other than programming beneath her artificial, constructed exterior, something which this John evidently did.  
>Cameron had seen the hatred in Future John's eyes whenever he had seen one of her kind in its true form. And she couldn't blame him. After what he had had to live through she would have regarded <em>metal<em> with exactly the same loathing. Which she did. What her kind had inflicted on innocent people was not to be forgiven.

Seeing the tears now escaping her eyes and running down her face John relented. He reached out, eased her hand away from her forehead and wiped the tears away with his sleeve. He drew back and gestured towards her endoskeleton shimmering in the sunlight through her cut.

"And _that_ doesn't matter to me either, Cameron. I know what you are made of. You don't need to be ashamed of it. Look, my head's made of bone, yours is metal inside. What the hell, it's what's really inside that counts. I've seen what's inside you. And it's beautiful."

Breathing heavily, John paused. He did not want to show weakness in front of her right now. He needed to force the lump in his throat back down again, which was not easily accomplished due to the last half hour's emotional parade still raging inside him. He would much rather have let go of his feelings, clung to Cameron for dear life and begged her never to leave him. Ever. But now was not the time. So he summoned the last of his remaining strength and pulled himself together before continuing, his voice laden with emotion.

"I believe in you, Cameron. Do you believe in me or I am alone in this hall of dreams?"

She said nothing as he got to his feet and walked round the bed. Her eyes followed him all the way until he was right behind her and she could no longer see him. She felt the touch of his hands in her hair, the sensations of it gliding through his fingers causing every receptor on her scalp to tingle.  
>She wondered if Skynet had actually intended to let its prime, one-of-a-kind model feel as intently as she did.<p>

"I believe in you, John."

He abruptly stopped his ministrations with her hair which immediately prompted her to want to ask him not to. More sudden random data she could not account for.

"Thank you."

It was all he was capable of saying. No words were necessary as John planted the briefest of kisses onto the top of Cameron's head.

…


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"I hope John's feeling better."

"Mmh."

"And I hope he's talked to her."

"Hmm."

"I actually told him to, I must be loosing it…"

"Uh-huh."

"Derek, you've been grunting away at me for the past fifteen minutes. What the hell is wrong with you?" An irate Sarah threw the woolly hat she was holding at her companion.

"Ow! For Chrissake, woman, how am I supposed to drive like this?" Derek threw the hat back at her and continued to stare pointedly out of the windscreen.

"Don't you _woman_ me" Sarah warned him dangerously. "I know you don't like the idea of John talking to Cameron as much as I do, but you saw him, Derek. He really seemed emotionally raw and distressed by her demeanour. And if getting it out of tin miss what's up with her will help my son _and your nephew_, then so be it" she put in deliberately.

Derek grunted, scratched his stubble, unwrapped another packet of chewing gums and placed them into his mouth – the likes of which he had been doing since right after they had left – and started chewing. He then shifted the considerable amount of chewing gum that had accumulated in his mouth from one cheek to another before he spoke, albeit with difficulty.

"Shere'sh noshing wrong wish her my good old plashma rifle couldn't have cured. Talking to _metal_ indeed! Washte of bleedin' time" he grumbled.

"Derek, you know John sees more in Cameron than we do. You told me that yourself. I hate her for it, but I saw the way she was looking at him today, and it seemed… well, not normal for a terminator, more like how a young girl that cared for him would look" Sarah admitted, before adding in a commanding tone "and get rid of that disgusting chewing gum!"

They stopped at the traffic lights where they had to turn left to the mall. After the lights had changed Derek pulled away, tyres spraying snow, and turned sharp right just before the pedestrians started to cross. He lowered the window and spat his great wad of chewing gum out onto the crossing.  
>They were too far away and already out of earshot by the time the poor guy who had put his foot in it and had had to abandon his plimsolls started calling them all names under the sun.<p>

"Where are you going? The shops are the other way" Sarah rather confusedly pointed out.

"Yeah, but I'll have to get that wing mirror seen to before we can go anywhere else" Derek had set his mind upon tending to his injured car and was obviously not to be deterred, she could see it in his face.

Rolling her eyes at male prioritorization, she folded her arms in a huff so very unbecoming of Sarah Connor and pointedly stared out of the window, quite reminiscent of Derek's behaviour from not so long ago. Her demeanour changed at once as Derek drew up outside a familiar fast food restaurant.

"W … what are we stopping here for?" Sarah asked and turned to Derek incredulously. "Surely you can't be hungry _again_?"

Derek chuckled "Nah. Well, yeah, come to think of it. But I'd rather wait for those pizzas."  
>He faced her with a sympathetic look.<br>"Look, Sarah, I know you won't want to come with me to the car dealer's. And I'm not too fond of shopping. Why don't you take the Jeep and go to the mall on your own? We'll meet back at the house in a few hours or so" he suggested.

"And what about John's book? That's what you dragged me out for in the first place, isn't it? To get presents" Sarah glared at him accusingly.

"Course I'm going to get John's book. Don't you worry. I know a shop that sells nothing but baseball gear and stuff, that's where I'll be heading" Derek said defensively.  
>"Only it's a long way out of town so I might be gone quite some time with the traffic and all that" he added hastily, not meeting her eye.<p>

Not noticing his shifty glances, Sarah seemed pacified by that. She nodded and got out of the car. Turning back to Derek she warned "Try not to be too long, or John will have eaten your pizza."  
>With that she slammed the door making the car and Derek shudder and stalked off over the parking lot towards the Jeep that was still parked where Cameron had left it.<p>

…

A violent surge in her power source made her entire system jolt, causing her to physically respond with something akin to a startled jump. She immediately tried to play back the sensation that had caused it, without success. Nevertheless, the replay of John's peck on her head returned that strange warm feeling inside her, the one she had experienced earlier that day.

_Perhaps I was wrong and he would have appreciated it if I'd hugged or kissed him…_

Deeming the notion as inappropriate and merely a result of corrupted data streams – _Yes, that seems more probable_ –, Cameron slowly turned around to face him. She wanted to see his eyes, read him as only she could. She wanted to know if it was possible, if he really…

…

John pulled back at once as Cameron's body shook, presuming he had gone too far.  
>"I'm sorry, Cameron. I … I shouldn't have done that" he admitted more to himself as she turned huge brown eyes inquiringly and a little disappointedly up at him.<p>

Before John lost the last of his resolve he had to focus on something other than those eyes.  
>"Come on, let's get that cut seen to. I suppose it'll need a few stitches."<p>

He headed over to Cameron's desk where he knew she kept a first aid kit. Rummaging in the top drawer he finally found it and took it out to lie on the desk where he opened it. It was near enough half empty. And it had contained only the basic items to start with.  
><em>I wish they'd sell a cyborg's first aid kit…<em>  
>Sighing, John made a mental note to find out where to obtain a professional first aid kit. He was fed up using pliers and wire cutters on her, he needed some genuine surgical instruments. Not that she minded, he supposed, but for him it always had the feeling he was about to mend a toaster or something when he went and got the <em>toolbox<em> to treat her.  
><em>Charley would have known where to get some…<em>

He disinfected the needle with rubbing alcohol and threaded it with surgical twine, cursing ever so often as he missed. Having eventually found the eye, John then brought everything back with him to the bed, stood next to her and was just about to summon up the courage to start the suture, when Cameron interrupted him.

"I don't require stitches, John. It will heal of its own accord."

"But stitches would help it to heal faster, wouldn't they?"

"Yes."

"And sometimes it's nice to have help, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"See? I'll bet there'll be only a tiny scar left by tomorrow that way. Hold still."

It didn't take John very long since the cut only required five stitches. He was sure that by tomorrow it would be near enough invisible due to Cameron's amazing self-healing powers.  
>Choosing a suitable plaster he finished dressing the wound, sticking it down firmly at the edges.<p>

"There. Finished. That's much better. Now you won't be needing those dreadful glasses" he grinned at her, put the needle and thread aside on the bed-side table and sat down beside her.

"Actually, I was considering keeping them" she declared, her small but mischievous smile back in place.

They both looked at each other, relieved that they were back as they had been before. A comfortable, cosy silence descended over them, as they were briefly lost in their own thoughts. John was pleased that Cameron was feeling better at last, seeing she had started teasing him again.  
><em>I sincerely hope she was teasing me…<em>

And Cameron was pleased that John was smiling again and was no longer in despair because of her.  
><em>I like it when he's happy. It makes me feel … happy. I don't want to be the cause of my John feeling pain again…<em>

Just when she had started to call John _her_ John she did not know. It just seemed like the right thing to do. Like making conversation had been, a long time ago. She was glad she could talk to John, he would always listen.

_John's always listening…_  
>She knew she had been right, even though Sarah hadn't thought so.<p>

The silence was finally broken by Cameron's voice.

"John?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did the hamburger man call her _Sam_?"

"What? Who do you mean?" John scratched his head, not understanding what she was on about. After all, she had just yanked him out of a beautiful daydream, away from the beach on a hot summer's day, the white sands stretching far off into the horizon as he broke out of a rolling wave with his beautiful cyborg girlfriend. He blinked at seeing her in front of him on his bed.

"At the restaurant, the man behind the racks called the girl who served us _Sam_. Why? Sam is a male name" Cameron elaborated her question with the familiar tilt of her head.

John absolutely loved her sometimes childlike curiosity and naivety. Chuckling to himself as he remembered Cameron's obvious dislike of the girl, he launched into explanation.

"Remember she was called Samantha?"

"Yes."

"Well, Sam is just short for Samantha. It's a nickname. Like, I dunno, Tom for Thomas for instance."

"Why are nicknames used instead of the proper name?"

"Well, I suppose it's because they're shorter. I haven't got one, see? Because my name's already short" he grinned.

"Charley called you _Johnny_" Cameron reminded him. "Is that a nickname, too?"

"Yep."

"But it's longer than _John_." Head-tilt extraordinaire.

"Err, yeah, you're right. Oh, I dunno. You use nicknames for friends or when you care about someone. Charley once said I was like a son to him…" John broke off sadly, remembering good old easy-going Charley.  
><em>If only Mom hadn't given him the elbow I might have had a normal life…<em>

Telling himself that it would have only endangered Charley eight years earlier had he become part of their lives, John once more shook off another guilty memory that haunted his existence and brought his attention back to Cameron, the cyborg girl currently responsible for haunting his daydreams.

"Well, that's all that nickname thing is about, actually" he concluded.

"Oh. Thank you for explaining" she smiled at him, and then tilted her head again as if contemplating something.  
>"Do I have a nickname?" she asked almost excitedly.<p>

She had done it again. Rendering John speechless was something she was getting better and better at. It took him even longer than usual to be able to produce a coherent sentence due to the puppy dog expression he was presently at the receiving end of.

"Um, well ... Err, I dunno. Nah, I don't think so" he pondered, considering the possibilities.  
>"I'm definitely not calling you <em>Cam<em>."

Seeing her crestfallen and somewhat hurt expression John quickly explained why.

"It's not that I don't want to, Cameron. I mean, _Cam_ is kind of cute, but it's also the abbreviation for _Cybernetic Anthropomorphous Machine_, a term coined in the late 1960's by some military scientists who were working on robotics."

"Then it would be appropriate, wouldn't it?" Cameron deadpanned.  
>"I am a cybernetic machine and I was built to resemble a human."<p>

_This is too much…_

"Yes, but…" John broke off utterly stupefied. Sometimes Cameron succeeded in rendering him speechless to an extent that he needed to take a deep breath to steady himself.

Having composed himself, he looked at her with an utmost serious expression before he spoke slowly and clearly, for he wanted her to catch his every word.  
>"I don't think of you as that, Cameron. I wouldn't like to think of my Cameron being reduced to a mere robot."<br>She watched him, his frown and piercing gaze telling her that he really meant what he had said. He then paused to mull it over, stroking his chin.  
>"But on the other hand," John finally concluded, "I don't think anybody will have heard of CAM nowadays, so it wouldn't be too bad, I suppose…" he started to grin at her.<br>_I could get used to Cam…_

Her eyes lit up paired by the brightest smile John had ever seen on her since New Mexico.

_He called me his Cameron…_

…

_John, you have to learn to lock car doors…_  
>Sarah shook her head at her son's carelessness as she opened the unlocked boot of the Jeep to have a look at the turkey John and Cameron had bought. Her jaw flapped as she took in the size of the bird lying snugly behind the rear seats, taking up almost entirely all of the space. She prodded it, sighing in relief that it was still frozen and slammed the door.<br>_He must have been thinking of feeding an army. Good job Derek won't see anything wasted…_

She got in the car, started the engine and was just about to pull out when she remembered John's rucksack. It hadn't been in the boot. Turning round to the back seat she saw the overstuffed and filthy thing lying there.  
><em>I should get him a new one, this is disgusting…<em>

Having made her mind up there and then about getting John a new rucksack instead of trousers which he probably wouldn't wear anyway – the bright spanking new trousers a mother buys her son are never as stylish and comfortable as one's old ones with the holes in them –, Sarah backed out of the parking space and headed for the exit.

The twenty minute's drive to the mall seemed to be taking forever and a day, so many cars were about.  
><em>Good Gracious, haven't they got homes!…<em>  
>She wanted to get this shopping lark over quickly, a quick dash round the mall should only take about an hour or so , she reckoned. Sarah whistled to herself mulling over which shops she needed to go to.<br>_Clothes store, preferably H&M's knowing John, sports shop, beauty parlour, chemist's… Yeah, that should do. Hope Cameron appreciates it. Derek will, that's for sure…_

Coming to the conclusion that Derek had probably forgotten all about the Christmas tree lights, Sarah decided she would purchase some at the mall as well.  
>She idly wondered if Derek would be getting her anything at all as the mall's car-park loomed up in front of her.<p>

…

_I just hope she swallowed that…_  
>Derek was not at all sure Sarah had believed his story about the baseball book as he watched her stomp off towards the Jeep.<br>Sighing, he put his foot down hard on the accelerator and pulled away, his tyres spinning in the slush. He headed for the outskirts of town where he knew a trustworthy car dealer who had an ample supply of spare parts and also a _pimp your car_ area.  
><em>Might as well get myself a Christmas present while I'm at it…<em>  
>He was envisaging those awesome chromium roof spoilers he had seen in a magazine.<p>

Traffic was heavy as were Derek's eyelids. He never slept very well with _metal_ in the house, it made him be on the qui vive at all times. He wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible, the drive from the car dealer's to their old house and back being a very long one.  
>Longing for the sofa, his pizzas and one or two six-packs of beer, Derek daydreamed once more about his perfect Christmas. Which included no Christmas tree, no <em>metal<em> and no snow. Not much to ask for after all, he maintained.

Just as he had finally reached destination number one he realized he had forgotten to ask Sarah about the _metal_.  
>Cursing to himself, he racked his brain, being at a complete loss as to what to get it.<br>_Christ, what does it like? Ugh, why should I care anyway?_

Sighing, Derek imagined his nephew's disappointed face at a present-less terminator. His lips curled in disgust as he tried to think of something Cameron might like. It was much easier for him to come up with things she would not like, all of them mostly involving thermite and mortal dismemberment.  
><em>It doesn't need anything. All it bloody does is stalk around the house all night, content in giving me insomnia, and getting blown up ever so often. And then it expects us to patch it back together. Wait a minute, that's not a bad idea…<em>

Deciding he was onto something there, Derek grinned to himself imagining what John's face would be like when he saw his uncle's present to Cameron.  
><em>Hah! Yeah, definitely. Now where did I dump Charley's old stuff? Oh yeah, mustn't forget about those bleedin' tree lights, either …<em>

A suspicious Derek let the SUV slowly coast to a halt outside the car dealer's, wondering why on earth the place was looking so deserted and why the car-park was completely empty. Any other day he'd had to threaten to duff someone up before he got a space. The car dealer was doing a roaring trade; evidently there were more men like Derek around.  
>Fearing the worst, Derek apprehensively got out, lightly clicked the door shut and strode over to the usually busy yet right now strangely abandoned looking office building. He stopped dead in his tracks in front of an ornate sign hanging on the inside of the closed door. It read in golden letters:<br>_"Closed for X-mas holidays. Merry Christmas to all my customers"_

Hating Christmas all the more, a frustrated Derek returned fuming to his car. Audibly more than closing the door after him for once and immediately patting it afterwards, he started the engine and pulled away, muttering '_bastards_' to himself ever so often as he started his journey to their old house.

…

Cameron's smile was reflected off John's face. How she always managed to wipe away his tension with one smile, he did not know. All he knew now was that it was time to do something he had wanted to do all day. He got up, walked round the bed to her side and held out his hand.

Cameron lifted herself gracefully in one fluidic motion off the bed as she hesitantly took hold of John's outstretched hand with her tiny one. She slowly closed her fingers round it with a light squeeze.

"Thank you, John" she said with a shy smile.

"What for?" he inquired, the fact registering with John for the first time how polite and well-mannered Cameron always was. Well, nearly always, apart from the times she slipped into full protector mode, that was.

"For making me happy" she simply said, giving his hand another tiny squeeze.

John's eyes suddenly stung, but he nevertheless managed a grin.  
>He nodded towards the door of her room "Come on, let's go."<p>

"Where are we going?" Cameron asked as they crossed the distance hand in hand.

As they stopped in front of the doorway John turned to face her with a piercing look in his eyes before he said cryptically "To do something I've been meaning to do all day."

Her lips parted ever so slightly in surprise as she slowly gazed up at him, her eyes huge, taking in every feature, every line of his face. She would never forget the sparkle in his eyes. Her head tilted backwards a little as she moved closer.  
><em>It seems I really was wrong. He would have appreciated it…<em>

The next thing she new, she was being tugged through her doorway and hauled down the stairs by John who was rabbiting away like an excited child.

"We'll have to be quick before it melts. It can't last forever. Come on, let's get our coats."

Such was his enthusiasm, he never noticed the subtlest of glares directed at the back of his head and the exiguous pout of lips as a somewhat disappointed Cameron was pulled along to the hall where John had left his coat and scarf haphazardly in a heap on the floor.  
>Huffing a little, she waited until he had awkwardly inserted himself into his coat, wrapped his scarf around his neck three times and put on a pair of large, thick gloves he had found on the dresser. They were probably Derek's, judging by the size.<p>

"What are you waiting for? Get your coat on" John urged her as he noticed she was still wearing the same things she had put on in the morning: Purple leather jacket, white top and denim mini skirt.

"I'm waiting for you, John. I don't need a coat" she deadpanned, still a little miffed.

"You can't go out like that!" John exclaimed, gesturing at the attire he usually loved. "It's freezing out, you'll catch a cold … I mean, you'll be cold."

The concern in his voice and his worried expression generated another feeling of warmth throughout Cameron's CPU. John's obvious care for her brought an involuntary smile to her lips, which she found quite intriguing, since she had actually wanted to huff a little longer. She couldn't help it. John just made her happy.

…


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"Are you sure you wouldn't prefer some lighter colours, madam?"

The chirpy shop-assistant with too much rouge on her cheeks was obviously trying to push Sarah into buying a more expensive line, disdainfully eying the bargain-size she had discovered in Sarah's hand.  
>A remarkably patient Sarah had been rummaging through the shelves for quite a long time searching for the appropriate colours in an equally appropriate price range. 'Good quality and not too expensive' are usually not kept within customers' easy reach in stores. Either they try and push cheap crap for marvellous or convince you to pay trough your nose for something you didn't want in the first place.<p>

"No thanks, I'm not interested."

The assistant was not being this easily deterred, however. After all, she had received three week's worth of psychological training on how to manipulate people into buying things they won't need with money they haven't got.

"Madam, our special line would go much nicer with your…"

Sarah silenced the annoying woman with one of her special _I wouldn't if I were you_ glares.  
>Rather relieved and at the same time pleased with herself at the assistant's instant recoiling, a content Sarah paid, placed her purchase in her bag and left, shaking her head at how persistent these beauty parlour assistants can be and at the same time sincerely hoping she had chosen wisely.<br>_She'd better like it after all the trouble I've gone to…_

Finally making her way to the exit of the mall, Sarah once more went trough everything she had purchased. She had bought John's present, the rucksack having been obscenely overpriced. But then again she'd been lucky with her gift for Derek which she'd found in the chemist's chuck-out section. This had somewhat compensated for being robbed in the sports shop. Cameron's present had been the most expensive and the most time-consuming, something Sarah was not happy at all about. But then again, she tried to convince herself, it was more for John than the machine.  
><em>It's all for John…<em>

She prayed that Derek hadn't forgotten to get Cameron something. Cursing herself for not having ordered him to, she stopped at one of those awesome thrift stores that are usually conveniently situated at a shopping centre's exit so you can't miss them and quickly picked up a bracelet just in case.  
><em>If not, she can have it for her birthday…<em>

Quite a few people turned to stare at the woman crossing the car-park who was currently slapping her own face, twitching and muttering something about _birthdays_ and _going bonkers_ to herself.

…

The sun was starting to set as Derek emerged from their former cellar door clutching the object he had been looking for. He thanked his stars that that part of the house had not been completely gutted by the fire and that the property hadn't been sold, looted or demolished yet, the _condemned_ signs on the gate and front door speaking volumes.

_Dunno what I would have got otherwise. Baseball book I suppose…_

He was now facing the long journey back home plus a lengthy detour to one of his weapons stashes where he knew the gift he had in mind for Cameron would be.

_As if she'd need it anyway. Ah well, I suppose it's more for John. It's all for John…_

He got into his car, reassured himself once more that he hadn't been seen and drove off, still a little ratty about his wing mirror. At least the streets were empty now and he could break the speed limit at last, even though he had to be extremely careful of the patches of ice that were beginning to appear on the road's surface since the temperature had meanwhile rapidly dropped, causing the slush to freeze in parts.

Up until now, the whole journey had taken much longer than Derek had expected, slushy streets and heavy traffic having held him up a great deal on his mission. He had also shouted himself hoarse at some idiotically careful other drivers.  
>At least obtaining the present for Sarah wouldn't take long; it was currently hidden behind a stack of boxes in their garden shed. He'd seen it in a shop window a long time ago and bought it on the spur of the moment, thinking he might use it himself sometime whenever the <em>metal<em> really got to him. In the end, he'd never used it after all, and it had slipped his mind up until now.

Sitting alone behind the wheel somehow always prompted Derek's mind to wander astray. He usually recalled adverse events from the future. Or his past. Or past future.  
><em>Or whatever…<em>  
>After idly wondering if cars may have had the same effect on his brother, Derek found himself reliving the day he had wanted to speak to General Connor about Kyle's fate, and all he could find was the <em>metal<em>.  
>'<em>Talking to me is like talking to John<em>' it had said. Derek had been barely able to refrain from spitting in its face.  
>The way it had regarded him, as if it were on equal terms with his General, the way it had spoken about John, the way it had seemed to have taken him over.<br>From that day on, Derek had blamed the _metal_ for distancing General Connor from his troops, for creating a rift between the soldiers and the one man they were all willing to die for. He hated the _metal_ for it.

The honking of a huge lorry's hooter behind him brought Derek unceremoniously out of his memories turned to daydreams. Opening the window and sticking his hand out in a rude gesture he pulled away skidding from the long since green traffic lights and scowled.  
><em>Bloody bastard waking me up. Just when I'd launched a DU round straight in its face…<em>

…

"Is that better, John?" Cameron inquired, a little unsure if the scarf she had wrapped around her neck wouldn't clash with the rest of her outfit. After all, she did like to keep up appearances, even if she did not really know why.

"If it's warm enough" John was still admiring her choice of clothes for a snowball fight if a little doubtfully as he fumbled for the door key in his pocket, impeded by his far too large gloves.  
>"I'd love to know where you got your sense of style" he grinned, finally succeeding in extracting the keys from his pocket and shaking his head at how she always managed to look gorgeous in anything she wore.<br>_Wonder where those fingerless gloves went she used to wear all the time. I loved those…_

"Is there something wrong with my clothing? Do I look like a freak?" a suddenly very worried and apprehensive Cameron asked him, at once pausing to look in the mirror again. She had already passed the mirror quite a few times while John was busy fighting his gloves, each time causing him to suppress a grin.

He sighed, stepped behind her to look at their reflections in the mirror and gently cupped her shoulders in his now oversized hands.  
>"You never look like a freak, Cameron. You look pretty … you always look pretty."<p>

She smiled, reached up to her shoulder and brought John's left arm down to her side. Turning round to face him, she slid her small hand in to his gloved one and gave it a light squeeze.  
>"Thank you, John."<p>

She then opened the front door and pulled him outside with her, promptly reaching out and plucking the key from him with an impish smile before he started fumbling with the key again. With a wink, Cameron turned to lock the door, leaving a stunned John to watch her aghast.

_I'll show her…_  
>Composing himself, John immediately rushed down the steps leading from the porch to the garden, crouched behind a nearby bush and scooped up a good two fistfuls of snow, quickly forming it into a near enough perfectly round snowball, which wasn't bad at all for a very first attempt, he reckoned.<p>

Just as Cameron was gracefully descending the steps after him, John decided to launch his attack. He jumped out from his hiding place and hurtled his snowball at her the moment she turned to face him. John watched with glee as it flew in a perfect arc, catching her squarely in the chest. She stopped dead in her tracks, pure astonishment etched all over her face, while John doubled up with laughter.

"That caught you off guard, didn't it? The ever-vigilant cyborg ambushed by a snowball!"  
>He leant against the porch holding himself up, shaking with mirth.<p>

Her initial look of surprise was however instantly replaced by a very scary robot expression, as her eyes focused on John and she started to advance on him rather menacingly, her face some shades paler than usual.  
>John's laughing fit subsided as he watched the terminator dangerously make a beeline for him. He gulped and actually backed away a few steps before she was upon him. Her left hand lashed out with inhuman speed and grabbed him by the throat, not firmly, not near hard enough to hurt him, but nevertheless hard enough to startle him, pushing him unyieldingly against the side of the porch.<br>She pinned him there, holding him at arm's length and tilted her head, regarding him coldly, her eyes boring into his.

A truly shocked John started to squirm and splutter. "Come on, it was only a snowball. We said we would do it, you wanted to … you said … Cameron, let _go_!"

She immediately released her grip on John's throat. Instead, she reached up, cupped his face and gently stroked his cheek before she retracted her hand, a satisfied smile on her lips.  
>"That caught <em>you<em> off guard, didn't it?"

His mouth agape, opening and closing in mild indignation, John glared at her resentfully, his breath coming out in short gasps.  
>"What's got into you? That wasn't funny, Cameron."<p>

Her triumphant expression fading, a now regretful Cameron took John's hand into hers.  
>"I'm sorry, John. I shouldn't have teased you."<p>

John yanked his hand out of her grasp, still a little miffed and feeling quite hurt at her – in his opinion – preposterous overreaction to his attack. But then again, he thought bitterly, she was, after all, only a terminator programmed to defend herself.

Tears welled up in Cameron's eyes at the shock and resentment still present in her John's features. She reached out for him but hesitated midway, quite unsure if to touch him would be the right thing to do just now. Or if it would ever be again.  
>"I'm sorry, John. Really. I shouldn't have done that. It was a stupid thing to do. I know how you fear … that sort of thing."<br>_I know how you fear…us. I don't want you to…fear me…_

Seeing her suddenly so distressed, John felt like a total jerk for launching a surprise attack on her. Of course she hadn't expected it and probably didn't understand why he had attacked her, it being her first time in the snow as well. She was still learning, after all. He instantly regretted his earlier thoughts.

_No. She's not just a terminator. She's more … she's Cameron…my Cameron…_

…

The house was dead quiet as Sarah Connor, her arms laden with shopping, kicked the door open, immediately roaring John's name as she walked into the kitchen and dumped her shopping onto the table. Receiving no reply she hollered even louder.  
>"John! Come and get your turkey, or tell tin miss. I'm not lifting that thing."<p>

Since she'd still gotten no reply, she suspected her son to be either lying on his bed listening to that ear-splitting din he called music with his headphones on and that strange little pod thing, or doing research on his laptop, another blinking machine Sarah didn't understand. And she knew John always shut himself off from the world around him when he was doing research.  
><em>Or when he's with the machine…<em> 

Fearing the worst, because even Cameron hadn't acknowledged her presence, Sarah bolted up the stairs and burst into John's room with about as much courtesy as a SWAT team. Finding it empty, she entered Cameron's bedroom in a similar fashion, only kicking the door open a little more ferociously, its knob imprinting itself in the wall as it crashed into it.  
>The machine's room was as always pristinely clean and had an air of a furniture store's display room about it. A place for everything and everything in its place with nothing to clutter it up. Bliss.<p>

_Where the bloody hell can they be? They didn't really go sledging or something, did they…_

Derek wasn't there yet, either, for his car wasn't parked outside and there were no tyre marks to account for that he'd perhaps been and gone.  
>Muttering to herself about people leaving everything for muggins to do, Sarah trudged back out to the Jeep and opened the boot.<br>The still frozen block of poultry was indeed immensely large. And heavy.

A sweating and out of breath Sarah dumped the huge bird in the kitchen sink, took off her coat and leaned on the sideboard in order to recover.  
><em>I'll never get that thing in the oven…<em>

After one last journey to the car to retrieve John's rucksack and the wrapping paper she had found on the back seat, Sarah decided she may as well start wrapping up the presents since no one was around.  
><em>Good job John thought of getting that paper…<em>

It took her some considerable time before she was satisfied with her handiwork. Sarah Connor was an expert on blowing up buildings, but failed miserably at wrapping up parcels. Having eventually used more Sellotape than paper, she proudly carried off her presents to the dining room where Derek's Christmas tree concoction was surprisingly still standing. She placed her presents beneath its branches and regarded the lopsided tree with growing doubt as to its static perseverance.  
>After cautiously prodding the tree and determining it safe enough, Sarah fetched the decorations she and Derek had bought earlier and hung them on the branches, hoping the tree would take the additional weight.<p>

It didn't look too bad at all, if a little crowded, owing to the fact that they had picked up anything they'd fancied in the matter of decorations. There were stars made of straw, frosted glass spheres with countless snowflakes on them, and various other glittering baubles. There was even a fairy on the upmost tip.

Pleased with herself, Sarah fondly regarded her tree, while at the same time picturing John smiling at his first ever _real_ Christmas.  
><em>Hmm, there's something missing…<em>

She went trough all the items she recalled seeing on a Christmas tree at the mall. Stars, globes, little snowmen and Santa's, fairy on top, lights, presents below …  
>Suddenly going rigid, Sarah let out a cry of dismay.<br>"I didn't get any lights! Dammit!"

She felt like crying. This meant she'd have to go out again, since there was no relying on Derek getting any.  
><em>I'll bet he didn't forget his wing mirror, though…<em>

With a huge sigh, a tired Sarah went into the kitchen and put her coat back on. She stood at the sink looking out of the window at dusk slowly creeping over the sky. It would probably be dark by the time she'd get back.  
>She'd have to go to that large petrol station run by a Kraut on the outskirts of town near the woods; the one that resembled a small shopping centre and which she knew was open all night. There was no chance of going back to the mall, it would be already closed tonight due to Christmas Eve.<p>

Sarah picked up the car keys, crossed the hall and slammed the front door behind her causing a few icicles to fall off the roof. Walking over to the Jeep she hoped that John and Cameron would be back before nightfall. She was always worried when her son was out after dark, even though he had the best protection in the world next to a portable mini cannon at his disposal at all times. And wherever he went.  
>Sarah was still not so sure if she should be pleased about that.<p>

A little irritated about the fact that her son was becoming more and more attached to the cyborg with each passing day, Sarah got into the Jeep and closed the door with a thud. The blackbird that had been singing its evening song in a nearby tree flew away with a start, chirruping angrily.

…

One hundred miles away, Derek shuddered, as a car door was slammed hard right next to him while he waited at a set of traffic lights. He glanced imploringly at the red-haired woman who had just stepped out of the car that had drawn up at the curb beside him and who was now making her way to the entrance of a tall office building. Derek squinted at her and shook his head, idly wondering how she had managed to drive in those high heeled shoes she was wearing.  
><em>I'm sure she didn't have those on when she just got out. Bah, must have been a trick of the light…<em>

Releasing the handbrake and putting his car in _D_, Derek sped off, forgetting about the woman who had somehow looked strangely familiar. After a few blocks he turned off the main road onto a side road leading out of town. Soon he had left the last of the scattered office buildings and the many warehouses behind him and was coasting along the now dirt road way above the speed limit.  
>Oddly enough, there was no snow out here. Derek wondered if the blizzard had merely been confined to the city because the snow seemed to cease at it's perimeter like a demarcation line.<br>After about ten minutes, he took a sharp left turn onto a trail winding its way off into the distance over the barren landscape towards some hills still visible in the last rays of the setting sun.  
>Derek remembered the drive to these desolate parts all too well. Not long ago, they had passed here on their way to the Serrano Point power plant.<br>If it hadn't have been for Cameron, that mission would have ended in a disaster.

_Bureaucratic farts. As if you'd remember security codes in an emergency…_

Admitting to himself that Cameron did have her uses sometimes, Derek pulled over to one side after a few miles and killed the engine. Sarah had once had a safe house out here when John was little and its old cellar which he now used as a weapons stash was all that remained, and still quite intact. It was Derek's favourite, beautifully concealed by sand, dust, twigs, rocks and other debris which even included the obligatory piece of bent, shapeless metal protruding from the ground, its original purpose long ago forgotten and forever remaining a mystery to the intrigued observer.

Derek buried his hands in the sand between two out-of-place boulders, rummaging around until he found what he was looking for: a length of stout metal chain which he pulled up and reeled in. It was connected to a square piece of wooden screening which, as he gave the chain a mighty tug, moved and in short revealed beneath it an ancient trap door constructed of thick wooden beams, weathered and warped by sand, sun and desert winds. He clasped its wrought-iron ring and pulled firmly, standing astride.  
>At long last it opened, its rusted hinges screaming in protest, finally yielding to Derek's heaves and threats of immediate destruction.<br>The cool damp air of the narrow, yet rather long subterranean chamber was a blessing for a hot and sweaty Derek who, after having descended the iron ladder, got out a lighter and lit the old oil lamp which was hanging from the last rung.  
>The diffuse square of the day's last light from above did not penetrate the furthermost corners of the recess, to where Derek knew he must venture.<p>

Clouds of dust welled up making him cough as he yanked a tarpaulin off of something in a corner. Derek stooped and took hold of the still shiny aluminium case by its handle. It had been standing there ever since he had collected it from Charley's place after he had been killed.  
><em>Knew it would come in handy one of these days. You can't have enough supplies…<em>

Going over the armoury's ample stock, Derek's trained gaze rested on a nice and subtle Luger 9mm. It was not much good against _metal_ but the _Pistole 08_ was one of his favourite weapons all the same. Reckoning he could do with a change he picked it up off its shelf and routinely checked it.  
><em>Aah, these vintage models just feel great…<em>

It was of course in perfect working condition, which told Derek again how right he was about those night-time visits to his various stashes ever so often to oil and polish his stock.

_Can't sleep anyway with the bleedin' metal prowling around. Wonder if they swallowed my pub story…_

Having taken a Kalashnikov and a few crates of ammo with him for good measure, he dumped everything in the bed of the SUV and threw the tarpaulin over his load, deciding that plastic sheeting Sarah had placed inside earlier in the day had indeed been a very good turn of events.  
><em>Persistence does pay…<em>

Derek breathed a sigh of relief as he started the engine and finally headed for home, content in the knowledge that he had everybody's presents at last and hadn't forgotten a thing.

…


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"Time out" John called to Cameron, plastered up against a tree trunk after she had pelted snowball after snowball at him not missing a single throw.

He had only managed to hit her once. '_Got you again_' he had shouted, as she had just stood there, his snowball hitting her in the chest once more. Little did he know Cameron had only allowed his first throw to hit her so she could assess the threat level of a snowball impact on John Connor before scooping up her own in record time and relentlessly firing away at him.

_Ugh, must've been first time lucky…_  
>"I surrender. You win" he panted, taking off his sodden scarf and gloves and stuffing them in the pockets of his coat.<p>

Cameron refrained from hurling her last snowball at a thoroughly soaked John and walked up to him to help brush the melting chunks of snow out from under his collar.

"Thanks" John said, shivering slightly and wishing he had not insisted they go out and that he had not tried to catch Cameron off guard in the first place with his sudden snowball attack while still in their garden. He could now have been sitting comfortably warm and dry with her in the house waiting for Sarah and Derek to return from their last minute recon or whatever they were doing.

_We could have been watching a film or something. Scrooge maybe…_

Instead, he was wet to the bones and they'd have to head back home and sneak into the house for him to change. Woe betide him should his mother see him in this state. John hoped against hope Sarah and Derek weren't back yet.  
>To his astonishment, Cameron was also quite soaked, not from being hit by John but from dodging his every aim and sometimes having thrown herself to the ground avoiding his snowballs.<p>

"Are you sure you're not cold?" John asked eying her slightly paler than usual skin and noticing the ice crystals hanging from her hair.

"I feel cold, but it's not uncomfortable" Cameron replied before smiling at him and adding "That was fun John. But you need to practise projectile evasion more thoroughly. I did not miss you once."

John merely stared at her not quite sure if she was serious or pulling his leg, thinking if it were the latter then she really had developed quite a wicked sense of humour. He grinned at her, took her hand in his and gave it a brief squeeze before saying "Yeah, you're right, but it _was_ fun, all the same."

The touch of his hand created another surge throughout her system but this time it did not startle her.  
>It felt … <em>pleasant<em>.

Relishing in the feeling she was experiencing, Cameron blissfully recalled her initial surprise followed by an overpowering sense of relief as John had suddenly smiled, walked up to her and briefly hugged her right out of the blue after their slight misunderstanding in the garden. Having been so taken aback she had just stood there like a statue while he'd had his arms around her.  
>She had so not expected this. Cameron had actually expected him to shun her forever because of the scary robot trick she'd played on him. The chasm of loss that had opened up inside her at the very thought had profoundly shaken her.<br>John had instantly noticed her distress. He'd realised he had overreacted, too. It had only been her way of retaliation for his ambush, after all. Or her idea of a joke. She could not know that she had trodden on a nerve.  
>Someday, John had decided, he would have to tell her about his nightmares.<p>

They had walked for half an hour through gleaming white, undisturbed streets to the nearby common for their snowball fight, so that Sarah and Derek couldn't spoil it for them should they return early. Cameron had insisted they come here. She did not want the day ruined for John by him getting a severe telling off from Sarah, which would have been inevitable had Sarah come across a drenched John engaged in a snowball fight with his terminator protector in the front garden.

The open countryside stretching out before them was slightly hilly, the vista of snow-covered meadows only being obscured by a few scattered houses on the city perimeter, a vacant lot here and there and one or two copses on the horizon where the woods began. It was barely early evening but nevertheless darkness fell quite suddenly in these slightly remote parts without the glare of city lights to compensate, especially in winter.

"We'd better head back. You know what Mom's like, she'll go ballistic if we're not home before dark."

Glancing up at the sky and uneasily contemplating the rapidly onsetting twilight, John imagined the rants yet to come and quickened his pace, Cameron at his side. She had switched to night vision and was warning John about ditches and other things that could be potentially harmful to her charge. A waxing crescent moon had risen and the first stars shone in the ever darkening sky. It was getting colder, all the more so for a dripping John who was starting to shiver and an equally soaked cyborg not at all unfazed by her already frozen stiff clothing. Her mini skirt had become as hard as a board and her leather jacket was beginning to stick to her arms.

"You were right, John."

"What about?"

"I feel cold."

This was something else John mentally added to his list of things he wanted to do for Cameron: He never wanted her to feel cold again.

"What are you doing?" Cameron asked, noticing him unbuttoning his coat and taking it off.

"Here, you can have my coat. It's not that cold, I can bear it" he said through chattering teeth holding out the dripping garment for her.

Cameron eyed him in utter amazement, still not used to John being this caring towards her. She had grown accustomed to being shouted at, totally ignored or treated like a more sophisticated toaster by the Connor/Reese family. It was only John who had treated her differently right from the start. Even though he had made the occasional dig at her in the past about being a machine, he had always valued her opinion and heeded to her word.  
>Cameron had liked this form of closeness between them. Unfortunately, it had all taken a wrong turning after the explosion. John had done everything he could think of to try and forget her proclamation, even if it meant distancing himself from her. Deep down though John knew he had failed miserably. He would never forget her pleas and tears, yet alone her words.<p>

_I love you John and you love me._

An unfamiliar and powerful feeling welled up inside him, making him have to fight down the urge to hold Cameron in his arms and never let her go as he placed his coat over her shoulders, earning himself one of those sad half smiles he so adored, yet had tried so hard to ignore for the past few months.

"You shouldn't, John. You will catch a cold like this, whereas I can't."

"No, I won't. Please, Cameron, keep it on. For me."

"Why?"

_Because I never want you to feel cold again_.  
>"Um … because … look, let's hurry up a bit, okay?"<p>

She was still staring at him with that longing expression John hadn't seen for a long time until today. Or hadn't chosen to see. At a slight loss for words and a little embarrassed by his inner turmoil he made himself focus on something other than the cyborg next to him, currently the blame for his heart missing a beat.  
>Glancing skywards he noticed the stars shining brightly above them in the meanwhile crystal clear winter night.<p>

"Look. There's Orion. That's Rigel and the reddish one over there's Betelgeuse. You can even see M42 down there off the belt if you strain your eyes a little."

_Star gazing with a terminator._ Bang went his normal life and John wasn't upset about it in the slightest anymore.

"And there just off the shoulder of Orion …"

He trailed off noticing that Cameron was no longer beside him. She had suddenly stopped dead in her tracks and was pointing her gun at him, a look of panic on her face.  
>John instinctively dropped to the ground before she threw her gun towards him. It landed in the snow in front of him making him look up at her in utter confusion.<p>

"John, take my gun. Something is wrong."

He picked up the gun, hastily got to his feet and stuck it in his waistband feeling guilty and upset with himself for actually having thought for one fleeting moment that she had gone bad again. That she was going to kill him.  
>Cameron stood stock still, staring at him wide-eyed, as he rushed over to her, concern evident on his face. He drew the gun scanning their surroundings.<br>_Shit! 'Know your exits, John' and here I am in open ground. All I need now is a bull's-eye T-shirt. Mom'll kill me. _

"What's wrong, Cameron? I don't see anything, there's no one there."

"I'm sorry John. You need to go. You need to get back to the house. Now."

"What? Wait, what about you? What do you mean?"

Dumbfounded, John looked at her still panic-stricken expression wandering what on earth was wrong with her when, without warning, she suddenly toppled over like a log. He only just managed to catch her, her not insignificant weight causing his legs to give way, and they both landed in a heap in the snow, Cameron half on top of him. John scrambled out from under her, his hands now numb with cold, and immediately set about trying to turn her over on her back which was no easy task whatsoever, her weighing far more than the average girl.  
>Having finally managed to lay a totally unresponsive Cameron on her back, John wiped the snow and ice from her face. She just stared up into his eyes looking as if she were about to cry.<p>

"What's happening with you? Wha … what can I do?" his voice caught as John started to panic.

A lone tear trickled down her cheek as she forced a brief smile for him.  
>"Today was a nice day, John. Thank you. I've seen the shoulder of Orion. All those moments will be lost … in time … like tears in the snow. I don't want to go!"<p>

Her head jerked once as if in a spasm of a fit of some kind and then she lay still. Perfectly still, her eyes wide open reflecting Orion.

Overhead, a shower of meteorites scribbled omens in the sky.

…

End of part one

Author's note & quotes: 

This story will be continued in Cameron's Christmas pt.2, which is halfway done and which I will release as soon as I have finished it. Thank you for reading.

The character of _Judge Dredd_ appears in the comic/annual 2000AD and belongs to Fleetway/IPC Magazines Ltd.

The original idea of Derek giving Cameron a can of WD40 for Christmas belongs - as far as I know - to the fanfiction Author _River2027_ and is used in her wonderful short story _Christmas with the Connors_, which actually inspired me to write a small three-page story for my own amusement last December and which then eventually turned into this.

The phrase _It was very well done. The hesitancy. The careful flattery_ is a direct quote from JK Rowling's Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince. Don't ask me what page, I've never read it, only listened to the audio books. I just love that line...

The character of _Calrissian_ appears in Star Wars and belongs to Mr. Lucas.

The phrase "_I believe in you, Cameron. Do you believe in me or I am alone in this hall of dreams?_" is taken from the song _beloved_ by _VNV nation_.

Cameron's "last words" are loosely taken from the motion picture Blade Runner - right at the end where the cyborg saves Harrison Ford - and belong to Warner Bros.

The main characters in this story unfortunately belong to Twentieth Century Fox.


End file.
